temple small times

Turning over a new leaf. Again.

2011-12-16T14:51:00.000-08:00

It seems I'm always coming up with some scheme of how I plan to do things differently, but then I end up limping along doing what works or just abandoning the plan. But this time is different! No really. I'm just going to give myself 2 months of this and I figure I'll re-evaluate at the end of the 2 months.

There was a point in the process of putting up all my work on the walls of the studio for the tour where I had to view my work as how others might see it. It's an odd assortment of random images some done well, some well, kind of clumsy, but in all of them there's a consistent dedication to the 'real' image. And this is odd, because I'm not a huge fan of realism. It's archaic really, to slave over an image trying to reproduce something that a camera can do lickety split. (I think this is a side effect of being married to an engineer - it's so much easier to not have to explain what the painting is of.)

There's something beautiful about the process, a dedication to the craft, an old school stubbornness - but if I'm going to do this thing, I need to go all the way. For 2 months I'm not going to work off of photographs. It's either still life set ups or portraits, and I'm going to discipline myself in the work of measuring and proportions.

The tricky bit about this is that when I get enough of a break from chores/kids/ect and I have the itch to paint I usually don't have much patience to prepare before I dive in. Matter of fact the real trouble I've had lately is choosing which image to go after and committing to it rather than just changing my mind when it doesn't come together right away. What I should probably do is set up a still life that's not going to rot if I neglect it and tackle the image from different vantage points/sizes/perspectives. - The other catch is that I'm picky about still life set ups.

It's amazing I manage to get anything done considering all my quirky stubborn views on this business of making art.

What I mean about the still life set ups is that I hate to see them looking all contrived. Ooh, I happen to have this bowl of fruit laid out on a flowing wrinkled tablecloth with a seasonal bouquet and an antique vase - poof - a painting. I feel like a good still life should be a little slice of life, real used objects, discarded little things that are beautiful in study, but usually overlooked. Seriously I almost did a painting of the dirty dishes in the sink soaking in soapy water, or the edge of a scrabble board in the midst of play, but the composition or the lighting didn't come together just right. - That and my friends laughed at me. You know, I love them enough to appreciate their opinions and still not listen to them. I mean these are the same guys that thought I was nuts to paint steak - but one of those paintings sold.

So what to set up for a still life? I'm going to aim for found objects that tell some kind of a narrative together. You might start to understand why I've used photos so much when you see how much over-think I put into this stuff.

Anyhoo. There's the other business of the novel. A friend of mine has devised a great plan to finish our novels by Christmas with horrible consequences and mockery if we should fail. Since I'm in an absolute and total denial of how close Christmas actually is, this still doesn't seem impossible to me yet. I've been revising/re-crafting this thing for eons - If I don't push it forward to a final, final version soon I might have to reconsider how serious I am about writing. - And that's the weird thing! This whole time I've been telling myself that I'm a writer, who's painting at the moment. I think my writing is much more creative and fresh than my painting - But I do what I do, and apparently my efforts lean towards where I have success. So anyone with the hopes of reading my writing in published form should develop a dislike for my artwork. Hmm. But I just wrote a ton of paragraphs about painting - what does that say?

Studio? Done.

2011-11-16T07:07:00.000-08:00

Can't help but be a little impressed with myself and the garage renovation. It's still a little hard to believe I'm done. I finished Thursday night and then the studio tour was that following weekend. That's why it's all done up so pretty with all of my friend Meredith's wonderful pottery. I still haven't actually christened it by hanging out and knocking out some paintings yet though. Something about the process of putting all my paintings up on the walls and seeing it all together, explaining what I do to so many folks, I feel like I need to take my paintings in a new direction.

It's a failing of a lot of self taught artists that I've seen where they strive too much to be realistic. It's a trap that I'm pretty sure I've fallen into. I can work from a photo, and come pretty close to what's there, but what am I saying with paint that the photo didn't say in the first place?

I'm also in a weird state of mind in general. Little bit of a funk? Winter's closing in on us. I'm getting older. Blech. This is also the down side of the way I work. Furious chunks of time where I'm very productive, followed by breaks where I do something else. But if the time between stretches out a little too far and it's as if I'm suddenly shy in front of the canvas, afraid that I've forgotten how to paint.

This would seem like a great time to finish the novel I've been slugging away at for so freaking long. Eh. I'll be like this for a while, till I get frustrated enough with myself to do something amazing and then I'll get back in the swing of it all I hope.

Making Awesomeness.

2011-08-13T06:37:00.000-07:00

As I may have mentioned, the studio has been bothering me. Don't get me wrong, it's been wonderful to have space to paint and get messy and work into the wee hours - but it's also been less than ideal.

In winter I piled all my paints into a dresser drawer, spread a painter's tarp on a corner in the basement and worked down there. But when the kids would play there I'd worry about folks bumping into something in progress. Also, the lighting was either too dim or too bright.

In the summer I've waited until the kids were in bed, opened up the rolling door, and cranked up the wobbly fan to keep the skeeters off. I know, it sounds like a pain in the ass, and it is, but I've found I'm generally a much happier person if I at least make one painting a week.

So, little by little I've been improving it. And now, I'm in the home stretch - and it's very close to amazing.

The biggest problem has been the lack of heat or cooling, but without insulation, there hardly seems much point in wasting the energy does there? It's a metal garage on a concrete slab. The previous owners had started to insulate it, but didn't quite finish the job. The interior walls were chip board with metal studs that were set back a bit from the board. What do you do with that? Insulation and dry wall would have been crazy expensive, just painting the chip board white didn't work. I can't even fully explain how much I've wanted to make the walls of this place uniform and clean. It might go back to my years of living in a dungeon of wood paneling at our old place. And then my crazy ideas all came together in a stroke of genius. Or at the very least, a pragmatic use of my cheap streak.

There are these spray cans of foam insulation. You fill in whatever gaps you have, it swells as it dries and you cut away the excess with a knife afterwards. So a foaming I did go. It's not perfect but it works and it cut off all of those drafts. Then I bought this paintable wallpaper with a beadboard wood pattern and I wallpapered over the chipboard/foam combo. Then I painted. - And this is where my favorite paint guy and the Home Depot saved the day. - He stopped me from getting a water based acrylic paint. Because water based could re-activate the glue and paste in the wallpaper and undo all my hard work! Instead I used the cheap oil based primer from Kilz and had it tinted to the color I wanted. Funny enough the color is called Artist Canvas, and even funnier it perfectly matches the free kitchen cabinets my friend Gina gave to me and helped me install. - Could life get any better? I submit that it cannot.

The next parts of the project are to put wood trim around the windows and at the top and bottom of the walls. Partly because that makes with the pretty and partly because it will cover up any residual foam and help keep the wallpaper tacked down. - Speaking of which, another (I thought very smart) part of my plan was in the application of the wallpaper. It was fairly straight forward prepasted wallpaper. You cut the strips, soak them for a moment in water, fold the underside over itself to activate the paste and then apply. But I had read reviews of folks having a tough time with the adhering. I happened to have a gallon jug of Elmers Glue. I mixed it with a bit of warm water and painted that onto the chip board before I put on each section. Since chipboard is such an irregular surface I think it really helped to hold it all on there.

Now the final stage of the studio will be to get some french doors to replace the rolling metal door. Ages ago I did a huge painting for my friend Cindy and we worked out a trade where rather than paying me she would give me the value - 300.00 in labor. Just so happens she knows how to frame in walls and doors. I buy the door, take out the old one and she works her magic.

I'm not going to waste your time with photos of all the little things. It's probably not even interesting to anyone but me. Once I'm done though, or nearly done, I'll post pictures and you can ooh and aah then. In the meantime I have to get back to work. Tootles. - A

Caught up in the struggle

2011-05-07T19:05:00.000-07:00

first night, foundation work

I had it. Or I was on the edge of it. I was carving out the image, making bold choices, building something where one choice would dovetail into the next and it was all coming together. Then I stopped for the night and totally lost my momentum. The next night I was fighting with myself second guessing and trying to get back to where I'd been headed. Ah well. The mojo, she has left me. I'll keep working on it, slower now trying to find that sweet spot.

second night, argh

In the meantime, great opportunity to switch focus and tackle the writing with a little more determination. Funny enough I met with a good friend the other day and she asked me what my ultimate goal was. And though I have a lot of things I want to be able to do, getting this dang book published is at the core of it all.

So why the heck am I out in the garage whacking away at these canvases if being an author is a serious goal? Good question.

I mean, painting is certainly more immediate. It's the same problem solving but all in one place and it has a definite end, whereas the writing is more murky. But maybe it's that cliche stuff like being afraid of finishing the book and failing at having it published. Eh. Who knows. I just need to be more disciplined in doing each thing every, or every other day. These painting binges can be exhausting and the writing really suffers from the stop and go. So, steady. That's my new mantra. Each day, making progress with each. This is quite the internally directed babble, but there you have it.

Lat cow painting

When the mojo goes away I get all introspective. But enough of that I have a book to write. Scene 1 Chapter 4 and Go.

Holy Canoli

2011-05-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

I'm on fire painting wise. Each and every painting I enter into lately I feel like I'm learning in leaps and bounds. The only hang up I'll have is when I stop for the night and enter back into the image. It loses some of the spontaneity and if I'm not careful I find myself just picking away at it rather than making bold choices.

Tonight I finished up another cow painting. It was in a dead spot and though the image read okay, there wasn't any love to it. So I went in and made some high contrast changes. Shadows that had been in a place holder sort of a state while I worked out the value got loaded with deep rich colors. I'll post pics tomorrow on that one. Then using only one large brush I blocked in a portrait of Tully.

Now as you may or may not know, portraits were a sticking point for me for a long time. Never mind how difficult they can be, but since my mom was so good at them, they intimidated me. That's part of why I'm so excited about my progress tonight because none of that was happening. My friend Jeremy inspired this painting. He's been doing an incredible series of paintings. Each one is a new take on, or version of a John Singer Sargeant woman. All women. I had been toying with the idea of taking a photo of a little woman, in a Sargeant like pose and sending it to him to see if he'd be interested in tackling it.

First I found this photo of a young girl

Then I took some shots of Tully in a similar pose.

Then I fell in love with the image and blocked it in and had a blast working my way through it. It's far from perfect but I'm learning a ton by working this way. Fast and focused with no diddling around on small details. Argh yummy yummy paint. So satisfying. Pictures of my work tomorrow.

And now before the coffee wears off I'm going to tackle writing. I've pushed past whatever block I had going on before and now I just need to keep up with myself.

Poor neglected blog tries desperately to revive itself

2011-04-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

So incredibly busy, but you'd hardly know it if you tried to look for any measurable progress in any of my various projects. There are paintings that have been painted. Blocks and dice that have been made. Prints of my artwork that are printing. But most of these things are half done, or not posted or photographed. Argh.

This is one of a series of fish paintings that I'm trying to make prints of.

And then there was the set back of the driveway bridge that washed out. It's surprising how much time an inconvenience can take up over time. Picture here many trips up and down the driveway carrying groceries ect.
But now it's spring break. No rushing them off to school or trying to keep up with their schedules. Hopefully I can find a good balance between activities for the kids and catch-up for myself.

Part of a series of three, plan to make prints of the series with all of them together

And in the process of catching up I'm trying to get back on track with my writing. The novel floundered for a time and I lost hope that I would ever pull it together, but once again my writing group came to the rescue. I have a blueprint now, a structure and I'm back on track. As long as I can put a disciplined effort forth each day towards it there could in fact be a time where I can say, I wrote a novel, past tense.

Discipline Dice. A revolution in parenting techniques that has yet to catch on.

How are you response dice. 12 options of possible responses. Social interactions solved.

And this measly little blog is part of that. This is where I need to shake out the sillies, get my fingers cranking, and just talk on the page. I don't know how it reads for observers but this is where I'm trying to hold myself accountable and keep track of how I'm doing with all my goals.

No Mas!

2011-01-04T07:43:00.000-08:00

If only my hands could keep up with all the ideas my brain has for them lately. I'm trying really hard to set a goal and complete one project before moving on to the next, but it's so hard!

I've moved the painting operation inside for the time being since the winterizing of the studio hasn't quite panned out yet. With a little desk and the right lighting I'm working my way through with acrylics. It's a struggle, like trying to speak with an accent but I'm making progress. Picture me painting the same image again and again saying "hamburger" like Inspector Clouseau.

I'm working small and doing a number of pieces on the same subject. I'm playing with the idea of transitions, small changes in the images and how they relate to one another. I'm going to take them to the printer and hope to sell them on Etsy grouped together.

I've also got a lot of plans for using a dremel when I get my hands on one, but that has to wait for project 1 to get finished.

And finally, I'm getting a small business permit and I've started an account just for the business. Lots of details with this, such as getting all legal and paying taxes, but it's worth it to me. The way I'm figuring this will equate with a part time job income, but still allow me the flexibility I need with Eric's travel and work schedule.

And as often happens, the painting surges forth and the writing flounders, or visa versa. Trying to keep on an even keel this time though and stick to a steady schedule. It helps to have such a wonderful writers group that I've been so lucky to join. For anyone interested you ought to check on Anna-Marie's site where her novel's first draft is evolving online. Her website is http://www.steampunkfamily.com/ and the story is called, Antafrica. Be sure to start at the beginning, you don't want to miss any of Bettina's antics.

And in other news, the kids are back in school, the goats are in the field, the squirrels are still nibbling on my porch and there are reports of loose cows in the area. All seems as it should be.

Xmas Chicken

2010-12-12T05:12:00.000-08:00

I've never been too skilled in wrapping gifts. Either a person can tell immediately what it is, or they tilt their heads with a confused look and ask, "It's a gift?"

If you play your cards right, this image could be yours -on a card even! A whole set of them, with envelopes!

Yeah. I have no idea.

2010-12-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

I don't know how you're supposed to give this to someone without offending them. Maybe I should have the image made into a fridge magnet instead?

Inside the fishbowl

2010-12-08T04:49:00.000-08:00

You think things are so peaceful and tranquil in there, but really it's complicated.

Shameless self promotion continues. Go to the Etsy shop and buy some.
If it's any comfort to you I have learned my lesson and will never again try and make something seasonal. I feel like my little cards are going to spoil like milk after the 25th.

You didn't know you needed this till now

2010-12-07T11:44:00.000-08:00

I made Christmas cards. Lots of them.
I was like the little red hen, I thought of the picture, I sketched the picture, I drew the picture, I painted the picture, I glued a little bit of origami paper in the shape of a pile of poo to the picture, I wrote the snarky quote in the picture, and I had the picture printed on nice card stock to make with the Christmas happy.
Now who's going to buy my picture?
Seriously. Limited offer. Clocks ticking, get with the clicking. Go to the Etsy site and order yours. Love me.

Circles.

2010-12-05T04:09:00.000-08:00

Moving in many directions simultaneously sounds busy and productive but it probably means I'm just moving in circles. November was a whirlwind of activities but I'm not sure what they all added up to.

The writing goals, well I didn't meet my goal word count wise, but I did manage to reshuffle things and re-invision the story better I think in my lastest revision.

Painting wise, I went on a bit of a bender while I still had some heat out there in the studio and I've made small 5x5 paintings from cut up pieces of scrap boards that a kind neighbor gave me.
I also worked out a set of 12 illustrations with pencil, pen and ink and watercolor. I've had these printed up in to cards, with the hope of selling them.

On the crazy Alice front, I've started taking meds for ADD. I don't know. I think I have an easier time focusing, I can handle distractions a little better now. It's unfortunately not the magic pill I had hoped for, but that's a little silly to hope for anyway.

I've decided to cheat

2010-10-24T18:43:00.000-07:00

Besides the constant insanity and pressing demands of children, married life, ect, there's one thing that really bothers me and always sets off red flags in my mind, and that's when I catch myself saying "I can't".

I'm a big proponent of choices, and 'can't' doesn't fit with my paradigm so to speak. If you can't do something then you've made choices that determined that. You see? So, there really isn't any such thing as I can't, just regrets from poor choices and being stuck with the consequences.

Think about it, let it soak in a minute. Here's an example: I can't make it to school in time. -Well that would be determined by prior choices right? Like when you set the alarm, how many times you hit snooze. Yeah. Can't and I, we don't jive.

There are things that I won't tackle or I'm afraid to try, but I try to be honest with myself about what the problem is. If I can figure out what the obstacles are, than I can make different choices. Simple enough, not to belabor the point.

So November is on the horizon and Nanowrimo is coming. For those of you not familiar with it, Nano is the awesomest thing ever. It's an amazing community of like minded crazy fuckers all struggling and striving to write a novel, to complete a rough draft of 50,000 words in 30 days. You can learn more about it, here What is Nanowrimo? I would encourage anyone with even the fainest aspirations of writing to dive in and try it. The biggest benefit is that it will push you to write a novel, rather than talking thinking or dreaming of doing it. Once it's done you can decide if it's for you. You can choose to revise or trash what you create, but you can rest in the knowledge that you did it.

So, I love the process. I love the community, the sense of drive, of push towards a goal. But as November begins I'm knee deep in a revision that flounders. An idea that I love, but struggle with, a plot that has flaws, characters that make me question their motivation. It doesn't feel right to bail from this endeavor just when I'm in the thick of the struggle, but it also doesn't feel right to say that I can't commit to nano this year. Recap, Can't =red flags, ect.

So I've decided to cheat. I'm going to keep on with my revision and log in my word counts and push towards the goal of 50,000 by December 1st. Real winners of nano will be turning in completely original works written during November. I however will be working and reworking the words I've already made in order to, hopefully, have a finished workable draft by December.

So I'll be logging in my word counts and enjoying the pep-talks and write ins as much as possible but aiming for a different goal. I think it's a compromise that works. I'll stop just shy of declaring myself a winner if I make it but I'm excited to add the powerful engine of community and peer pressure to my efforts.

That and, I have to keep painting! I was so lucky to find someone who likes my work enough to work out a great barter. One big painting for a wall with some french doors for my studio. She has building experience and the know how and it will go such a long way towards winterizing the studio. Very excited to make the space even more functional.

Also, found a place for my latest article here, I Am Modern feel free to comment on their site!

Assorted bouncy thoughts

2010-09-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

Been on a bit of a bender painting wise. Last week I painted two radish paintings, two pear paintings, one road, a cow, and an avocado.

Today I tried to follow that up with an oxen and a goat but the paint was moving wrong on the canvas and I was too eager to solve the problems than to work through them and build solutions.

The latest theory I'm kicking around is that I might have ADD. To me this is ground breaking revolutionary thought. Maybe my brain doesn't have to bounce around inside my head like a little ping pong ball. People that know me are less wowed with my self diagnosis. Writing a novel, a blog and a humor column, painting every random thing that lands in front of me, forgetting appointments, losing things and having a hard time sticking to any kind of a schedule. It's amazing I didn't think of it sooner.

I think the reason painting feels so satisfying for me, is that I'm using different parts of my brain simultaneously, or in a bouncy kind of way. Just drawing I have a hard time, but in painting I'm measuring and balancing tonal values and finding colors and balancing the composition all in one big push. It's manageable, but it's also everything at once.

My writing is progressing at a snails pace now. I hit road blocks, tried doubling back and got all discombobulated. Thankfully I have a wonderful writing group and if they can't help keep me on track I'm surely a lost cause. Writing books is tedious, confusing, complicated stuff. I'm going to try and fit in a visit to a book store this weekend. There's something encouraging about walking down aisles and aisles of books by people that actually succeeded in doing it.

Kids are settling into the school schedule and starting to explore different extra-curriculars. Cub scouts and art club for Felix, Girl Scouts for Emer as well as a girls running program called, Girls on the Run. -Besides just focusing on fitness, the program is designed to help girls develop a healthy body image before they plunge into the abyss of puberty. Tully is going to be in the Daisies, Girl Scouts lite, and she's taking a dance class offered through the PTO after school. She has no inhibitions and her dance style shows it. To say she loves it is an understatement. She danced all the way to the car afterward.

Goats are happy goating. Paintings of goats are sure to fill the shop soon.

Dysfunctional fundraising. What it lacks in logic it doubles in fun!

2010-09-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

I’m not a fan of fundraisers. There’s something disconcerting to me about setting kids up to sell things by the side of the road. Granted, it can provide a valuable life lesson by helping them see first hand the pitfalls in a life of crime, the humiliation of pan handling, but it makes me uncomfortable to see them beg. It’s just begging with props. The humiliation they have to experience to endure the whole process is a bonus, but hardly one that warrants the price.

In the younger age brackets there are the girl scouts in front of the grocery store with their boxes of sweets. What’s the underlying message there? What are we teaching these girls? It’s okay to accost total strangers with promises of a sweet, guilt laden pleasures as long as they get paid? Even worse is the financial lesson of selling something and giving such a large cut to your pimp, I mean Girl Scout Cookie Central. I think when my girl gets suckered into this, I mean volunteers, I will wear a long coat, platform shoes and a hat with a big feather in it as I supervise.

I know there are other parents just as uncomfortable with the idea. Trying to save their girls from the humiliation of a life on the streets they strong arm co-workers into paying exorbitant fees for cookies. Do me a favor, okay? If you need money to pay for your daughter’s extra-curricular, have some balls and just ask for the money outright. Don’t bring some innocent cookie into your financial troubles. Don’t taint the loveliness of baked goods with prices that hint at extortion.

Boy Scouts, already at a disadvantage with no cute skirts or jaunty berets, are left with the undesirable task of selling popcorn. 40 dollars for two boxes of microwaveable popcorn? And you’re not even going to come over to my house and push the buttons on the microwave for me? How much does that break down to per kernel? Not to push conspiracy theories, but has anyone checked to see how many lobbyists for the corn industry have kids in the boy scouts?

The high school fundraiser is usually a car wash. Attractive high school students, predominately female, jump up and down holding signs. Young pert nubile ladies bouncing in their white shirts, as if to say, “I have no idea that white clothing becomes transparent when wet, and my school spirit is abundant!”

To their credit though, I suspect these ladies are merely a lure, that drivers follow the bouncing signs around the corner behind the Denny’s to find band members and math club geeks doing the hard work of scrubbing grime off of bumpers. This is especially torturous for said geeks. First to catch the unchecked expression of disappointment on the driver’s face and then to have such close proximity to the harsh soaps required to clean a car. I’m just saying it’s bound to aggravate their acne.

This past Saturday I drove into Purcellville and encountered a new kind of fundraiser all together. One that has filled me with wonder and awe. Clusters of kids with signs, as well as big swirling flags. In one group there was a kid playing a bugle. In another there was a tuba. These kids were really trying to attract attention. And they were successful, to an extent, with me. I couldn’t look away. I read the signs, but I still don’t understand why they were advertising a mattress sale at their school.

So many questions.

Who decides to buy a mattress as an impulse purchase? Who is waiting for the perfect school fund raiser to come along so they can replace their current mattress? Do you really want to encounter these types of people, in the hard light of day? Is there something I don’t know? Is there a bed bug infestation running rampant in Purcellville? Did they actually sell even one mattress?

Who thought this was a good idea? At what school board meeting did they discuss the poor state of funds and look at this as a solution? Who, in that meeting, is in bed with a mattress salesperson, and how did they talk everyone else into the hopeless scheme?

And the children. Think of the children. Never mind that they were given an impossible sale, they put forth such a valiant effort. Flags and musical instruments? Really? “You know, I wasn’t planning to buy a mattress, but that boy is twirling that flag in such a compelling manner. . .”

The only bright side I can imagine to this fiasco is that these kids will have something to talk about at their reunion. “Hey remember that time we sold mattresses for the school fund raiser?”

“Yeah, that was so much better than the next year when we sold blank VHS videotapes.”

Comics

2010-08-03T18:58:00.000-07:00

So, Felix has been reading a lot of comic books lately, and then Emer seems to have picked them all up and read through them as well. The down side to their shared interest is an excess of comic books strewn about on the floor. In the process of picking them up I've become distracted with the visual incongruities.

Did anyone think to tell the Hulk how unattractive that shade of green is? And is it a coincidence that much of his demeanor seems like roid rage? And all the women of these comics have the perky well rounded breasts. It's not fair, or realistic. I was at my most stupid and least focused when my breasts were in that condition.

Superman, the Hulk, even Spider man, all scratch a fantasy itch of sorts, a kind of justice for the awkward geeky boys. So where is our heroine? Where is the saggy-breasted, down trodden mother figure's alter ego, and what would it be?

Or better yet, what if there weren't an alter ego? What if her super power was her previously perceived imperfection?
Sagorilla and the swinging pendulum breasts of doom. With a quick turn of her shoulders, whole armies are decimated.
Or Stretchmark Sally, the bluish white glare of sunshine bouncing off her scars blinds people while simultaneously making them appreciate that they'll never have to see that again.
Nagalicious. Her constant nagging and reminders lull unsuspecting victims into a sleep-like stupor.
Refrigor-raider. She empties refrigerators of all but the most rudimentary and unpleasant condiments while failing to cook any palatable meals.

There might be some material there to work with.
Any resemblance between me and the fictional characters mentioned is just unfortunate and sad.

Various thoughts and imperitives

2010-08-02T05:32:00.000-07:00

Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary. Cecil Beaton

I have the studio cleaned and organized better now. I'm focusing on making the space as functional as possible. I'm fired up and ready to go in September -painting and writing, writing and painting. I'm determined to make something worthwhile. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm spinning my wheels.

"When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire."

I have the kindling and the match at the ready. All I need is time. A month of summer left. I want to enjoy the time with the kids. I want to make the most of it, but the fighting between them all is driving me crazy.

More and more trouble getting along with, relating to, Felix. I feel almost like he's slipping away from me behind all this unpleasant behavior. I've got a number of doc appts to try and track down what's going on with him. Allergies, Acid reflux, Asperger's syndrome, Tourette's -there are a lot of possible explanations but I'm just hoping for some better guide to know how to help him.

And then underneath that, there's this lingering fear that if something is misfiring in him, that maybe that comes from me. Maybe there is a reason why I am this marginally functional creative weirdo.

And to bring it full circle, that's why I feel more determined than ever to get something done, made, pushed to better. I just really need to feel like I'm pushing towards better at something rather than stuck in mediocre.

That's all I have for now. Oh, and also I need to blog more frequently. -We'll see if I can.

New road

2010-06-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

A good friend with a body of artwork I really admire gave me some great advice and I'm taking it.
I know. Me, taking somebody's advice. Strange times.

Whatever skills I have as a painter are wasted with my crazy love of everything. What I needed was a theme in order to develop my voice, to explore different styles while staying within the confines of the theme. It doesn't hurt either to have pieces that make sense viewed together. I mean horses and toothpaste are fine, but it's kind of embarrassing trying to explain away the lack of focus there. It was pretty obvious that I was just randomly choosing images that caught my eye or copying other artists.

I'm into the second week of the experiment and I'm still pretty excited about it. Every painting is either a road or a view from the car as I drove on a road. And in a nice parallel I feel like I'm traveling down a new road myself. Trying to build up something unique from a blah image, trying to develop a visual voice of my own instead of copying the styles of others. I'm getting there. Lots of experiment, tons of fun. Focus is good.

The first week's paintings had a tentative quiet look. This week's work is bolder with higher contrast looser strokes, even some palette knife work. As always my favorite painting is the last one I did. Keep an eye on the shop, they'll be up as soon as they dry. The heat is helping with that and I have a fan blowing on them as well. I still need to work on photo quality though. The paintings that are on Etsy look washed out.

Now, of course I had to make some exceptions for my crazy. I'm not painting anything that isn't a road, but I am experimenting with different printmaking methods, graphic design, and illustration to put on the silly wood blocks I'm making. It feels really good to be divided. My funny quirky goes here, my series effort goes here. There. Everything in its place.

I'm still struggling to find the same focus in my writing. The novel. Everything should be going into it, my funny, serious, weird. But that book would be too long. I'm going to work on revising two chapters each week.

In revising it's harder to set deadlines and goals. I don't have a word count to push for. I just have to keep plugging away and push through the fear of getting lost. So my new commitment on that front is to print out the chapters and the beginning of the week and mark it up, take notes, do free writes all on those chapters. It shouldn't be just a tinkering with what's already on the page. I need to re -vision what's there.

Hubris tastes like tabasco twinkies.

2010-06-15T18:31:00.000-07:00

He was my bear. For the moments I stood there in disbelief taking pictures. For the day following as I mulled over what it meant to have him out there. He was mine.

As much as he could be any one's that is. I mean look at him. He's suave, debonair, he obviously gets around. He's a player. I was a fool to be seduced by what we had together.

Two mornings later there was evidence he'd been at Kaarin's house up the drive and across the road. And I knew he would never be my bear again.

Her cooking is much better than mine. Once he's tasted the refuse from her gourmet table, he'll never come back to my paltry offerings. What are a few stale oreos in the wake of her muffoletta? Even if he were to come back my way, it will be with a dissatisfied air. You call this arugula? His upturned snout will seem to say.

It is amazing though, how spotting a new animal like this recreates the world. I love the wilderness here. I don't take it for granted. I still think it's special to watch a deer bound across my path, or a rabbit run for cover. Even my ongoing battle with the porch eating squirrels is an entertaining novelty. But now, the dark shadowed places in the wood hold more than shade. Is it Promise? Excitement? Danger? Maybe a little of all those things.

I take it seriously. I'm putting the trash where he shouldn't be able to get it. I'm watching the kids more closely outside, telling neighbors and such. But it's as if the encounter has forced a different conversation with the environment, one where I'm not the only speaker, where I can't dominate the conversation.

It's easy to wax poetic about the beauty of nature. Some people read the Emerson in the comfort of their A/C and feel connected. Others tiptoe in the mud to catch frogs. But to live in an area with bears you have to form a different respect for nature, because it could actually kick your ass. All the recycling and good intentions in the world are not relevant when you're sharing your space with a 400 or so pound wild animal.

For example, in the course of conversations someone shared the idea they had heard, from a friend of a friend, that a good solution for a trash loving, too close to home kind of bear was Twinkies soaked in Tabasco sauce. It sounds good doesn't it? Being a higher mammal it doesn't seem like it would take much more than some engineered food products and spices to solve the dilemma.

A little research though proved that this was an exceptionally bad idea. Apparently there is a kind of pepper spray actually intended for and marketed to repel bears. It works like mace. Sprayed in the eyes it does no permanent damage but it deters the interest of the bear. Well as it turns out, like all things higher mammal, some people haven't been reading the directions on the cans of repellent. After spraying this stuff it's strongly advised that you leave the area because the bear, though he doesn't like having the stuff sprayed in his face, is attracted to and likes the taste of the spray and will come back to an area and lick the leaves where it's been sprayed. Bears like spicy.

Operation Tabasco Twinkies was aborted in the nick of time. The good news is we have lots of engineered food products to nibble on as we sit in the A/C and think about what it means to live in and with nature, rather than just on the land.

While we're cooped up, we can follow the news of the gulf oil spill and wonder about the implications. Our hubris, our confidence as higher mammals, as the stewards of the Earth might be shaken enough to force a new conversation. Knowing that nature, or our mistakes with it can rear up and kick our ass might force a level of respect from us that we've lacked and our relationship with the natural world can be recreated.

My new favorite poet.

2010-05-09T18:12:00.001-07:00

My Mom,

by Felix

She is as warm as a fireplace.

When she smiles it warms my heart like a fire warms me.

She is best when she is listened to.

But watch out! If you sass back at her she is like a exploding bomb.

Changes

2010-04-16T00:55:00.000-07:00

I've decided to quit doing my articles for the Leader. -But it doesn't feel like quiting so much as just re-prioritizing, so I feel okay about it. It was good experience for the discipline of writing a piece weekly but I think it's distracting me too much from the novel at the moment. I really want to be done so I can send the manuscript out.

Also, with an actual art show coming up in May and more on the horizon, I need to get to work painting. So many projects planned that I have to bring into existence. I post here weekly, with photos of my work or my random thoughts.

Here is a link to the group I'm showing with for now.

Nova Arts Group

Topical and funny? Like an ointment that tingles.

2010-04-04T00:57:00.000-07:00

I can only meditate and ruminate on the lint in my belly button for so long. It was inevitable that at some point this would happen. Brace yourself, I’m going political.

I am a living example of why health care reform is necessary. I left home at 18. I worked a variety of menial low wage jobs that taught me to appreciate the value of a dollar. I also learned that an hour spent stirring huge vats of coleslaw/slicing tomatoes/mopping floors/cleaning fry-o-lators is an hour you can never get back. I worked hard and lived poor. I was struggling under the mistaken impression that hard work would pay off, but the truth is that hard work of the menial type tends to be a trap with no advancement or opportunities.

When I got bronchitis, I went to the hospital. When I sliced my finger open, I went to the hospital. When I had a car accident, I went to the hospital. The bills these visits incurred were too big to even consider paying. So I didn’t.

Flash forward to now. One of my children was recently diagnosed with Lyme disease. If caught and treated early this won’t present a problem, but if left untreated the long term effects can be debilitating. Did you know Loudoun County has near epidemic numbers of cases of Lyme disease? And that’s the cases that have been diagnosed. Only forty percent of people get the tell tale bulls-eye rash and fever. Lucky us, we have insurance, so when we spotted the rash we went to the doctor.

That was a $15 co-pay. Without insurance that same visit would have cost $40 to $60. Since it was only $15 though, I wasn’t shy about stopping in and checking out this strange rash. Ask yourself honestly. If you or one of your children had a rash, no other symptoms and a visit cost that much, would you go? What if the rent was due, or the refrigerator was empty? Would you put it off and see
if it got worse?

The doctor prescribed a course of antibiotics to treat the Lyme disease and I went to the pharmacy. My normal pharmacy didn’t have it in stock, so I went to another. Silly me, I didn’t have my insurance card with me and they didn’t have my information on file. With three children misbehaving, I was in a rush to leave. I asked what it would cost without insurance, thinking I could sort out the insurance later
and get reimbursed. 300 dollars!

Without insurance this kind of price tag is unmanageable for most. If you’re working a job that doesn’t provide health insurance, chances are that you’re probably low wage and poor. Though Loudoun County is one of the wealthiest counties in the country –there are still poor people here. They are bagging your groceries, serving your fries and picking your vegetables in the fields. Those are the very same fields that are teeming with deer ticks. You can tell yourself it’s not your problem, but the long-term medical ailments that will afflict people with undiagnosed or untreated Lyme disease will burden us all. We can either pay now and hopefully prevent illness and regulate the cost, or let the problem fester until costs spiral out of control.

People are tossing around the word Socialism in the news. But I wonder if they even know what it means. To me, the whole argument harkens back to ideas of Calvinism. -A variety of Protestantism practiced by a large majority of the first settlers in America, not the cartoon stickers of a little boy peeing on a Chevy or Ford logo. Though the specific ideas of the Calvinists have for the most part been rejected, the flavor of these ideas seems to be an undercurrent in discussions about wealth in our nation. But then pissing on other people's ideas seems to be pretty common too.

In a Calvinist view everything is predetermined. God has already chosen whom he will save or bless with his grace. Therefore the rich, wealthy, attractive people are the chosen and their fortunes are simply a reflection of this. The poor are poor, and suffer misfortunes because they have not been chosen. –It’s a pretty grim view of things really. These ideas seem to have gotten all stirred up with the work ethic pathos until the general din in the mass media is that the poor, are so, because they aren’t working hard enough, and it is their own fault and ‘we’ as a society shouldn’t support their sloth because it will simply encourage it.

Speaking of sloth. My family health insurance costs about 15,000 a year. My husband’s company pays about 2/3rds of that. It’s a fairly substantial chunk for a group of people that are healthy. Whenever we do go to the hospital, we inevitably get a letter a few days later from our insurance company asking us if there is anyone responsible for the injury that they can sue for the cost.

We’ve already paid for our insurance, but if they can reduce the amount they have to pay out, they’ll have a higher profit margin. If they can show good returns and profits they’ll get more investors and stock holders and the money will grow exponentially. Sloth pays. But real sloths hanging in the trees can't seem to make a dime. And the hard work of people struggling with misfortunes fills the coffers of the already wealthy.

For too long our economy and our values have been separate. I can’t understand arguing against a system of health care that tries to merge compassion and practicality. It’s easy to think that you’re
safe but it’s just a matter of time before unemployment or a tick bite you. The tick isn't likely to be compassionate, but we can hope the society you're in will be.

Mother of a ten year old. Yes, I am.

2010-03-21T18:32:00.000-07:00

Here's my girl. We went on a trail ride near Harper's Ferry and it was really pleasant. I feel so fortunate to enjoy this age with her as she comes into her own.

But back to me. Doesn't it always circle that way eventually? I'm amazed at how transformative it's been to be a mother. I'm not who I was then, and I can't imagine who I'd be without her. I'm surely better.

I remember when I was in labor with Emer. I paced the hallways on the maternity ward and came to look out a window that looked out over the highway. The same highway that everyone in the area has to drive on to get past Portsmouth NH. I had this weird sense of vertigo where I felt like I could see/feel that other me, the before motherhood me, driving by on the road below me. And I could never drive past there afterward without feeling that a part of me was still there, looking down. As if part of me split off to live in that limbo, and is still there now. Maybe I just tapped into the universal nature of it all. My face out the window has been a thousand other faces, enjoying the same view as other women have undergone the same transformation. I don't know if there's any thing else in life so that shapes you so completely as parenthood.

She is the first knife, carving me into who I need to be.

Some Mundane Thing (Struggle part 2)

2010-03-17T19:27:00.001-07:00

We, I mean, I, was totally wrong about the need for mousetraps in the house. It's a barbaric practice if you think about it. We, I mean, I can't possibly sleep peacefully knowing our, I mean my, house is built on a foundation of pain and suffering. Also -

No she would never sound like that. That isn't it at all.

Well how would you suggest we go about doing this thing?

You just need to go on about some mundane thing until you hit a level of absurdity, then you take a left turn and you're there.

Fred, you're being a little general. Could you give some specifics?

No, I can't. I didn't actually pay attention. Stuff like toothpaste mashed up on the edge of the sink, or the way toast is good when its warm, and not when it's not.

You're kidding me.

Nope.

And people read this?

Well there's no proof that they aren't reading it.

So how would you suggest slipping in our subversive message?

Subtlety. Little by little. I think we might want to discourage people from sweeping. They probably have better things to do right?

How does this solve our problem?

Well, it doesn't solve the problem, but it gives us more crumbs to choose from while we work on the problem. Also cats. You can't say enough bad things about cats.

Where do I begin?

I know huh? It's a subject ripe with material.

Bill, Could you please move?

What here? Go ahead.

No it's like a button with a letter on it and I have to hit them in the right order to make the words and your tail is in the way.

No, you don't have to do that Gerald is taking dictation.

What?

Yeah he's like a typing acrobat you should see him. It's an art really. It's a shame he doesn't have much to say, or many opportunities to do this kind of work.

"What does it matter? It's not like anyone reads this anyway."

The Trap of Struggle (Part 1)

2010-03-10T08:47:00.000-08:00

If there were no struggle to life it wouldn't be any fun. If gravity didn’t fight against us our muscles would atrophy. We are designed to struggle. In a zen Buddhist meditative kind of way I think the struggle is good, because it reminds us that we're alive. We should feel honored for the opportunity to be here and struggle. That being said, the fight of life can be a bit of a drag. It can wear on your patience. As with all things, moderation, you know?

So I'm going to surrender a few of my struggles here to focus on the battles I have a chance of winning.

To the mouse:
Look, I'm sorry. I know it was a sneaky trick. I didn't mean to toy with your expectations. For the record I'm not a mean person. Though, when the jaws of death snapped on whatever appendage it did, I'm sure it seemed like it. I think I speak for myself, all mouse trap users, as well as the makers of the trap, when I say, you have exceeded all estimations of your will to live. When I try and picture you dragging the whole trap back down there behind the wall, you look a little like Rambo. I’m really amazed you could fit.

Dude. I'm impressed. But now what?

Did you go to your family and show them mankind's handiwork in the hopes that they could free you, or to attend your own wake fully conscious and die in the comfort of home? In the event that your brethren do free you from the trap I would like to discourage you from building one large enough for me. It's just going to be difficult for you in a logistical sense, scale being what it is. Also it might be hard deciding what to lay out as bait since my tastes are so mercurial and eccentric. I've heard you all behind the walls. I know you’re engaged in some heavy duty construction or destruction. It’s almost Spring just let go of the struggle and move on.

To the kids:
I know you're siblings and there's a universal law that you will always argue, especially in front of me. Lalalalalala! I can't hear you. I'm going to give you lots of time to use your working it out skills while I jam my fingers in my ears. Tell me when it's over.

To the laundry:
I know I’ll never win in the endless battle against your multitudes. I'm going to re-envision the battle though. I'm going to see the laundry as a tide that rises and falls. I am the laundry ninja with the waxing and waning of the bleaching and staining. Well that’s not exactly ninja-ish. Hmm. I’ll sneak up on my own procrastination skills and Wa Tah! The folding and sorting will be accomplished with a series of chopping motions and my cat like reflexes. The point is I’m not going to let it bother me anymore.

To the stinkbugs:

You’re so deceptive. The clumsy flying, the plodding aimless walk, like something prehistoric and stupid across my floor, up my coffee cup; you beg to be destroyed. But that’s the trick isn’t it? You’ll keep coming no matter how many we kill. We will go crazy catching and killing, and the bills will go unpaid, the work left undone, society will fall to ruin and you will win. I’m not going out like that. I’m going to surrender in the struggle against you individually so that I won’t succumb to your evil plot.

To the internet:

I’m not going to let it drive me crazy when I can’t access you. I’m going to view it as an opportunity to focus on the present, to tune into my environment. The times when I can log on will be a pleasant treat.

Like now. The kids are out of sight and most importantly out of earshot. The laundry is far away and this room seems free of the stinkbug invasion. I have a comfortable spot and internet access.. It’s a pleasant treat and I’m just going to relax and enjoy it.

What is that? My goodness, is that a pirate mouse? It’s so small it’s hard to see, but it looks like it has a peg leg. What is he doing? Is he signaling to someone behind me? What the –SNAP.

Go Check Yourself

2010-03-02T05:41:00.000-08:00

"Look, I don't like you and you don't like me. I don't want to do this thing anymore than you do. We both have our parts to play in this crazy topsy turvy world and you've just got to buck up and take it. I'm going to have my way with you, so you might as well work to make it pleasant. Understand?
You're a little slow, aren't you? I SAID YOU'RE A LITTLE SLOW! Never mind. It's not important."

"I know a bag has been removed from the bagging area. I have three 'helpful' children. For once they're actually trying to help. It's like a miracle, and there you are nagging. Here I am, feeding the multitudes and all you want to do is count the loaves of bread. The bag is back, okay? Jeez, relax."

"It's an apple. For crying out loud, I don't know it's social security number, its favorite color or its mother's maiden name. I'm not entering into a long term commitment here. It's not like I want to file the apple's taxes, I just like me some Fuji. You're going to stand between me and my apple? What the Fuji? The sign on the display said they're 1.59 a pound. You have the fancy scale, you figure it out. Why am I doing all the work here? Oh, that little number sticker on the side there? Um, yeah I guess I can type that in. Thanks ma'am. No, I didn't realize I was yelling."

"Look, there's a line queing up behind me now. Could you please hurry this up? No, I'm not the one that's going slow, you're the one with the deficient scanner. Yes. I said deficient. No I am not intimidated by your high tech gadgetry. I have oodles of experience as a counter jockey scanning purchases and making change. The trick was, I had a half hour of training and I could do a void without calling over the assistant manager every ten minutes. Oh and also I used to get paid to do this."

"I know a bag has been removed from the bagging area. I needed room for another bag because that one was full and I put it in my cart."

"Stop yelling at me. People are starting to stare. I just explained the bag thing and you're getting a little repetitive. You're kind of attention needy aren't you?"

"You know, cashiering was my back up plan. If money got tight, or I really needed to get out of the house; I always figured I could come back to a place like this and serve my time. You stole that from me didn't you? Now I'm stuck with my dream of running away and joining the carnival. If you don't scan this depilatory cream I may have to start my career as the bearded lady sooner than I planned."

"I know a bag has been removed from the bagging area. Fine. I put the overly full, about to tip over bag, back on the bagging area. Are you happy now?"

"I know it's a lot of produce. I wasn't expecting my special time here with you now was I? I like to eat healthy, are you going to try and ruin that for me too? Are you going to try and bully me into pre-packaged junk just because the bar codes are easier to find? Are you responsible for the nation's obesity problem?"

"No, I'm just saying you're a dark and twisted piece of machinery. I wouldn't put it past you. You know the little old lady three people back in the line is starting to look annoyed. Are you going to practice your dark arts on her too? That's somebody's mother for crying out loud."

"I know a bag has been removed from the bagging area. I've been trying to teach my groceries to levitate but they just haven't shown an aptitude yet."

"If the store is saving money not paying a cashier to ring up my groceries, and I'm doing all the work here, where is my pay off? Why don't I get a discount for cashiering and bagging my own order? Hey, and didn't that bag of sugar used to be bigger? Do you have a shrink ray too?"

"No, I'm totally serious. Stop laughing, you sound like a calculator with the hiccups. You need to get out in the real world more."

"Oh, yeah."

"I don't know with a dolly or a forklift? It's not my problem and it's beside the point."

"I know a bag has been removed from the bagging area. I am not trying to steal an entire bag of groceries. I promise, it's right there and I will pay for it if we ever finish this trial of endurance."

"You know the cashier is right there watching me. I guess I can accept the fact that you don't have any faith in my moral fortitude or character. You could at least show a little respect for cashier/theft prevention/helper lady and trust that she's doing her job. What happened to make you so cold and jaded?"

"It's so sick that she has to stand there watching you. Or does that give you more of a thrill? You do to grocery cashiers what ATMs did for bank tellers. What tornadoes do to trailer parks."

"Yeah? Well Fuji to you too!
Um, no. I didn't know I left a bag in the bagging area. Er, um, thanks."

The circle of my influences

2010-02-24T08:27:00.000-08:00

Hard as it may be to imagine, my loquaciousness isn’t impervious to fatigue. There are times, when I need a respite from talking. All of it, even my twiddly little fingers on the keyboard, stop. When I come to this point of stillness, the sounds around me flood my senses. To tune out the chaos of three talkative and argumentative kids, I turn on the radio. What I hear disturbs me.

Mr. Sting of the Police has informed me; he is sending out an S.O.S.
I might have been interested in reading his little missive, had he not told me so many times. I think we would all do well to abandon him on his little island lest he torment anyone else with infinite repetition. I think even the sharks should refuse to gobble him. Chewing him would be like going over the same thing again and again, and there’s already been too much of that.

If AC/DC could just choose a current do you think they’d have to be back in black? I mean, it just takes a little planning of your voltage needs, really.

The band Boston says it’s more than a feeling. How much more? A strong hunch? Or is it a physical manifestation of something that was once a feeling but has now matured into something more painful like cramps?

And then there are the mysteries to ponder. I think Bob Marley may have in fact shot the deputy. Think about it. He has no qualms with admitting his crime; he gleefully admits he shot the sheriff. I get the sense he simply wants the confusion cleared up. I would posit that the sheriff had been demoted to deputy unbeknownst to Mr. Marley. Does anyone beside me care?

And do you think Paul Simon has a digital camera now or is he still tinkering with his kodachrome? Do you think him and Julio have kept in touch? I’m picturing Julio sitting on an olive green couch, rolling his eyes, waiting for Paul to load the carousel of his slide projector.

If Led Zeppelin tells me more than eight times, light of the love I have found, what does this convert to in wattage? Is that fluorescent? Is there a conversion chart for this? Fortunately, I think any love I have also has a dimmer function.

R.E.M is telling me that was just a dream. This seems a little obvious.

Fleetwood Mac (or is that Macs?) tell me, don’t stop thinking about tomorrow. Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here. What happens if I do stop? Will the world implode?

An advertisement is featuring the claim that their service is unparalleled. Does this mean that none of their competitors can travel in a parallel fashion? Are we doomed to watch the various industries of our semi-successful capitalism travel in divergent or colliding paths? It seems hard to find a profit angle in that scheme, but maybe I’m just being obtuse.

Yeah, that’s right I’m hitting the geometry humor. You can’t stop me; I’m going to get all tautological with this mother. So, listening to the radio has taught me that being receptive is over-rated. And. . . .close.

Thank you and goodnight; you’ve been a wonderful audience.
Next show is at 11.

Dear Adversity,

2010-02-17T21:41:00.000-08:00

Why must you embarrass yourself like this? It’s obvious you keep trying, and yet consistently I laugh in your face. Ha. Like so.

You have made my long, winding, and steep driveway impassable to all but the most impressive of machines. Did you think I would wither away for want of groceries and the companionship of my peers? Aha, ha ha. I think not.

You have taken for granted just how hungry I am for friends. You’re also doing me the favor of shaving inches off my thighs and building muscle tone. As for the groceries, I may be the mother of invention as well as three children, because I have a sled. So there, take that.

I planned ahead for this ridiculous weather of yours. By the way, have you heard of a thing called over–kill? Sheesh, what are you compensating for? But I digress. I planned ahead for these storms. I stocked up on pellets for the wood pellet stove. It didn’t matter that the drive was already too slick to make it all the way up. These are mere details, inconveniences you throw before me that I easily step around, as I carry ten forty-pound bags of pellets up to my
garage.

Power outages? Please. We’ve been through that before. Remember the huge thunderstorm when you broke the gutter above the egress window; when the view from my girl’s room became a murky aquarium? I bailed out shoulder-high water, with a bucket, in the middle of the storm.
Not having any electricity for a shower or a hair dryer afterwards didn’t faze me then, why should losing heat in a blizzard freak me out?

I got all ingenious with my pesky dependence on heat to stay alive in a blizzard. I rigged up a marine boat battery with an inverter so I could run the pellet stove for two days. I splurged on a real generator in case the power went out for longer. I have to admit it, you almost got me with the stove malfunction. That was well played Adversity, well played indeed. If I’d been listening to Intuition I could have seen that one coming. It’s unnatural and evil to put too much technology and industry into an affair that is, at its heart, so simple.

Wood pellet stoves are stupid, stupid things. The fact that they require electricity to operate an auger to feed store bought pellets into a fire puts two things in between me and my heat. I should have known better. Wood pellet stoves are just a lie from when suburbanites got all warm and fuzzy for alternative heat as gas and oil prices rose. The fact that Businessman Bob can pour a bag of wood into the fire without changing out of his dress pants makes it obvious to whom they were marketing. The allure and magic of burning wood, without the chainsaw outdoorsy thing has your friend Deception’s name all over it. How’s he been lately? Do you guys still have that pick up basketball game on Thursdays?

Anyway, credit where it’s due. The stove was near genius. Especially that part where it seemed I’d figured out the problem, only to go and break it myself irreparably. I’ve learned my lesson. A simple woodstove will do fine in the future. No silly middlemen in between me and what I need. It doesn’t matter that I’m a small weakling with no upper body strength. I can fell a tree, chop, split and stack the wood with the sheer power of my will alone.

I know what all this effort is on your part. It’s so transparent. You only pay so much attention to me because you like me. Admit it. Like a little boy tugging the braids of the girl at the desk in front of him, you want me. I know, I’m nearly irresistible on a lot of levels. It might be the crazy curly hair (don’t think I don’t know you tighten these springy boingers each night); it might be the stretch marks and scars. It’s obvious that you and I have had more than a passing association. But that’s over now. I am simply not available and you just have to move on.

I don’t think a restraining order should be necessary. I think it’s clear I can defend myself against your advances. For that matter, you’d best not make me mad. I would recommend that you don’t cancel school again. If you do, the heat of my rage might melt all this snow. Oh, and don’t bother trying to get smart, breaking the rope on my sled. I have shoelaces, and I’m not afraid to use them.

Yours, (in a figurative sense only)

The hot chick with the can-do attitude

P.S. Tell Deception I like what he's been doing with my mirrors. I've never looked so good.

I would be remiss not to make mention of the view

2010-02-08T06:13:00.000-08:00

It's like this. In every direction. For forever.

bleh.

2010-01-23T15:29:00.000-08:00

So there's a combination of factors at work. The husband isn't around much these days and it seems to increase the tension when he is. It's both frustrating and interesting to hear someone else struggle with the kids. Today is the one day of the week when he was home. I think he had hoped that it would be the funnest day ever, to make up for lost time and he forgot that it just doesn't work that way. You can't play catch up with kids, you can't pick up where you left off. We went snow tubing in the morning, which was fun but was plagued with the little technicalities and problems always associated with coordinating three kids to go in the same direction at any one time. Then there was the time at home. I just haven't been in the right place to write or paint this week and thought the time would be better spent cleaning out the studio.

I sorted through three boxes of paperwork. Half finished short stories, rough drafts, poems -I have a stock pile of ideas to sift through and on top of that all my collected essays and readings on the place of women in society, economic anthropology, and the politics of gender. Damn I miss school.

I miss teachers telling me I'm brilliant. I miss pages and pages of my own notes that make sense and don't containing shopping lists. I miss that feeling, like I was on the cusp of some new idea or understanding. In a practical sense I know that I can accomplish a lot on my own I just have to be disciplined about it. I know an MFA in writing is worth about as much as the paper it's written on, but oh, the temptation. I think writing and striving with an audience simply feels different. Not so dependent on the dips and swells of my ego's tide. Where I am now I feel a little bit like a hamster in a wheel. I don't know if any of my efforts will ever amount to anything but I keep scurrying away. Tuition seems like a lot to pay just to have someone pat me on the back and tell me I'm going in the right direction though. Ah, well. It is what it is. These are the mommy blues in all the varying shades.
Maybe I can take one class, either writing or painting in the spring. or go to a conference or a seminar.

Like a reflex, as my writing dries up, the ideas of images for paintings start flooding my brain. Weather and time depending I should have new items in the shop soon. We'll see. . . .

The laundry is trying to kill me.

2009-12-28T18:47:00.000-08:00

It's funny actually the coincidences that pop up. Last post I mentioned using the holidays as a kind of subject crutch for my attempt at humor columns. Now, nearing the end of the holidays and I'm using an actual crutch. To make the circle complete I suppose I should write an article about that as well. - Maybe. For now I'll just give you the shortened version of two baskets of laundry, a stairwell and what felt like a break but is apparently only some damaged ligaments.

Let me tell you as inconvenient as this nonsense is, it is so much easier when your partner is in the country and you have the incredible blessing of a neighbor who is the bee's knees. Note the possessive apostrophe. I'm getting serious about my grammar and punctuation now. I hate catching my mistakes after something's been posted. Latest article over at the Leader. Go ahead read it, you may be one of ten people in the world who do. Join the elite club. And if you're feeling really crazy comment on it. Just don't mention the typo's and mistakes that I didn't catch.

I stumbled upon this really amazing artist Reuben Margolin and I've been thinking about his work. First of all the precision and planning that go into his pieces verge on a religous reverence for the elements of nature. The simple act of movement is taken to this elaborate level. Second of all, it's like this beautiful marriage of engineering, math, art and recycling. And third of all, can you imagine? This guy set out to make these gorgeous monuments to nature and movement that have no practical application in the world but to make something beautiful. Can you imagine how many people probably called him crazy or mocked his efforts? But the thing is, the wonder of it is, that what he has made could never have been achieved if he hadn't pushed beyond that and stayed true to his vision. So I have a new hero.

Also, I found this animation that emphasizes the importance of remembering, it can always get worse. http://vimeo.com/6913172

Meh.

2009-12-17T05:41:00.001-08:00

I'm a little tired of Christmas now. All the weight of the holiday falls on the shoulders of mothers. We carry the weight of all those expectations too long and we're bound to just get tired. Besides I've been writing all these seasonal pieces for the Blue Ridge Leader and I'm afraid I'm just using the seasonal stuff as a crutch because I don't have much else to say.
And then I decide to provide a new post here. The irony. Here is a post to say that I don't have much to say. Meh.

Here is one of my favorite bits of comedy for your viewing pleasure. Of course I know it by heart and parts of it have been rattling around in my head like song lyrics. Oh Erma I love you so.

And then there's my favorite Irishman. Dylan Moran.

I'll check in on you later when you're done laughing at these.

Can I steer an octopus around a wall?

2009-12-05T18:45:00.000-08:00

Recently I was re-reading The Christmas Letters by Lee Smith. If you haven't read it, you should. It's one of the few books in epistolary style you can find that's done believably in my mind. But the thing is that in Christmas letters you read the great fiction of a person's life. Lee highlights this in her writing so that what is said in the text is almost a whisper compared to the yell of all that isn't said. We've all read those letters. They almost read like a listing of accomplishments or a nomination for an award. Their lives can't possibly be that good, and if it is, why gloat like that and shove it in all of our faces. But there is a desperate kind of flavor to it as well, between the lines. I remember there was a time when I wrote a few of the dang things and I think I was trying to convince myself that everything was hunky dory when I was new to being a mom, overwhelmed, or just plain lost and struggling my way through it all. So what brings that to mind is my wondering if this blog reads a little like those letters.

Can you hear how I'm struggling to get my footing? Do I sound as scattered and desperate as I sometimes feel? Maybe I'll look back at all these posts once I'm on the other side of all this and it will make sense as a clear transition from one thing to another. First I'm painting, then I'm writing. Then I'm working on a kids book, then I'm working on a novel and I thought it was going to be a YA novel but now I think it might be something else. Then I went and wrote another. And then I start writing a humor column and is it even funny? I'm so all over the place. Maybe I'm just in a funk recovering from the trip to Georgia. No offense Georgia, I love you and all but I think I'm just going to love you from over here. Two observations I picked up while I was down there this time around.
1. The South is not rising anytime soon.
2. Is there anything they don't fry in oil?
Air?
I gained weight while I was there and it must have been the deep fried air. But I digress. I'm finally coming to grips with my creative side. Actually I think it's something like a wrestling match or trying to steer an octopus. I won't even tell you about my audition for a Shakespeare play.

Okay I'll tell you the funny bit, but really the rejection still hurts so don't pour salt on it okay? I was auditioning and they asked me to play the part of Tom Snout. He's a worker, who is also an actor but not a very good one. He is playing the part of a wall and being that he is not proficient in the skills he explains to the audience that he is in fact a wall, and goes so far as to explain how the wall works. So I read the lines. And being in character, I moved around a bit as I was reading them. You see these characters are the humor of the play, and a moving talking wall, that's funny! Okay so then the director very politely asked me to read the part again, but this time being more wall-like. So I stayed still, or tried to. I spread my arms out to be like a wall, but had to bring one arm back in to read the script. And I didn't get the part. I am not qualified to be a WALL.
The only direction from here must be up. If only I could see past this wall blocking the view.

Wow.

2009-11-29T19:50:00.001-08:00

Write more wrimo write more!

2009-11-06T16:50:00.001-08:00

Just to say -I'm thoroughly amazed at how far you can get when you don't know where you're going. I still don't have a clear idea of my plot, but I know my characters and they are leading the way right now. This is the fun and invigorating part of Nanowrimo where I'm all hopeful frantic. Such a thrill I can't understand why everyone isn't doing this. But heck you must be toying with the idea or why would you be reading about me doing it with any interest? If I wrote about jumping off bridges would you start leaning against the railings? Jump in the water's fine.

Also, why is it that kids are so heart achingly sweet when they feel awful? Is it the same Darwinian survival thing that makes them cute so you'll feed them? Poor Tully is under the weather. No it's not swine flu -though every cough and cold seems more important this year doesn't it? She's just a little feverish. As she was putting herself to bed she told me she was very happy that her brother and I were taking such good care of her. What a nice and sincere thanks! Oh all right I'll keep her, even if she does barf on me.

I have a lot of words and I'm not afraid to use them.

2009-10-31T17:02:00.000-07:00

Recently I read How to Become a Famous Writer Before You're Dead, by Ariel Gore. I've read a lot of books about writing but this has become my favorite. She dispels all the excuses for putting things off with practical advice. She doesn't waste a lot of time telling you what you already know. If you want to be a writer, you have to write. What stands out about her advice are all the pointers she gives about self promotion and most of these ideas transfer over to the art market as well. Good stuff. Ariel Gore is the cat's meow. Read anything she's written and her personality just shines through every page. She's the creator/editor of Hip Mama and worth checking out.

Then, Bam opportunity fell into my lap. I'm glad opportunity isn't like a cat with the claws outstretched because that would really hurt. A writer friend met a woman looking for folks to contribute to an online version of a local paper that had gone out of print and she recommended me. I gave her two little audition type articles and she liked them! So now I have the motivation to meet a deadline each week as I write this column. I'll be making more material, honing the craft, maybe even grabbing a few more readers. (No offense to my imaginary friends from here of course.)

Here it is,me in print! http://brleader.com/ Sort of. you know the kind without ink, on a screen and on an obscure website that I can't even connect a link to. Hmm, not very differenty from this at all. My grand entrance to the respectable world outside of self publishing wasn't graceful. If I'd been thinking about it maybe my first sentence wouldn't have had the word crud in it. The difficult thing was to describe what my general subject matter will be, and how to describe myself. Subject matter I still haven't decided on, but since I'm trying to write humor, I'm going to go with whatever has the most joke potential. I'm aiming for five laughs for each piece with pieces averaging about 600 words.

This is what I came up with for a bio:
Alice Mullen is just some poor shlump living over in Lovettsville with too much time on her hands and a seemingly insatiable appetite for work that is unpaid and tedious. A slave to her creative muse she seems incapable of earning money in any of her endeavors. Mother of three, painter, writer and wise arse extraordinaire she balances an inferiority complex with an inflated sense of self. Her credentials are too numerous to mention, her expertise too wide and varied to question. Her education is a combination of both high brow elitist learning and street smarts. She will except both compliments and money at alice.mullen@gmail.com

November. National Novel Writing Month! I'm going to try and start fresh this year and push through. My novel, I guess we can call it my first novel, is still struggling through revision. There's a chance that my bright idea is part of what's been doing me in. Maybe I overdeveloped the plot trajectory so nothing organic could come from the writing. Maybe I was just coloring in the lines trying to hard to get to the next plot hurdle. The benefit of NaNoWriMo is that there'll be no time to over think. The field is wide open for ideas and I'm excited to get started.

Of the two pieces I submitted to the online paper thingy, one was considered to risky to publish. So I give it to you. Happy eat the kid's candy before they do day.

Naked
by Alice Mullen
Recently a Springfield Virginia man was arrested for indecent exposure . The catch to the story is that he was naked in his own home in his kitchen making coffee, and this got me to thinking. Isn't this a sort of gender discrimination? If it had been a woman don't you think folks would be less likely to complain?
It's not this fellow's fault that the male genitalia are all dangling and silly. Speaking of which, Ladies have you ever noticed that sometimes, as you gaze lovingly at your man in all his glory it's a little like a cartoon face, the nipples like eyes, the belly button a little nose? Or is that just me? Maybe I'd be less likely to damage sensitive egos if I wasn't laughing hysterically every time a naked man comes at me.
A woman is just less likely to be naked by accident. I, for one, am almost never naked unless the light is flattering (read here dim), or I'm swept up in a certain reckless abandon. Though there are disputes about the actual time this incident occurred, it was most definitely before noon. Reckless abandon never visits me before noon.
I used to live on a large farm, in a dark house, with great views. Since I didn't have any real neighbors, I didn't have curtains. For the most part this worked out just fine. I would step out of the shower, gaze at grazing cows while I dried off, and all was right with the world. One morning though as I stepped out, the sunlight bouncing off my glistening wet skin like a glittery beacon, I looked out to see ten or more people standing around watching as a vet gave the cows inoculations. I'll tell you there's nothing that can make you feel so young and vibrant as crawling away from a window on your hands and knees. Not that I have any shame in my body. I think it's holding together very well, but I have had three children so there are portions of my physique that require subtitles or at the least, post-its of explanation. Without the benefit of these explanations I think the sight of ME is a bit much to take. I make a concerted effort to spare the general public, but my point is, accidents happen.
Back then to our man in Springfield. There's a chance these things just didn't occur to him; his nakedness, the woeful lack of curtains, the watchful eyes of a close knit community. Maybe he was behaving like a flasher, exposing himself to strangers to get some weird thrill. But oh, how lazy and sad. I mean at least you can give a flasher some grudging respect, he's out there fully engaged with life and the elements. Armed with nothing but a trench coat and a sense of purpose, with the ever present threat of a chill wind all but shriveling his credibility. Standing in front of a window? Lazy, lazy lazy. And with the benefits of central heating, down right pitiful. So maybe he was a perv, but a lazy sad one. How awkward are things going to be in this neighborhood? Fully clothed on his way to the mailbox, neighbors will avert their eyes from him for fear of something unzipped or that they'll giggle just thinking of it. I'm not saying it's okay to be creepy or perverted especially where kids are concerned. What I am saying is that in these times when there are so many bad things to be or do, naked hardly seems to be one of them.
It was a mother that called the police, presumably to defend her child from being exposed to too much humanity all at once. What's really disturbing about this is that she witnessed him (either exposing himself or accidentally forgetting his clothes- take your pick) and decided the best way to handle it was to call the police. Victims call police to defend themselves from crimes. What I'm concerned with is that this woman felt so helpless that she had to call the authorities to help. What ever happened to the days when the community set the standards for a modicum of behavior and mothers were the stalwart defenders of these standards? Communities have all but become extinct. Now we just have clusters of houses without anything connecting the lives within them. This woman didn't realize the potential power of her community. It's all just so simple. This guy's neighbors just need to take a small collection and buy the poor man some curtains, and a trench coat just in case.

My favorite deviant

2009-10-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

So Felix's teacher sent home a note. Actually it was more like a novella. He's been arguing with her and being disrespectful. Which doesn't sound like him, but when he gets an idea in his head he can be pretty fierce to defend it. The long note offered some examples of his behavior. Did I mention it was long? And as much as I'm embarrassed to know that he's being difficult, as much as I want to help the teacher and come up with strategies for him to deal with everything better. I still think he's doing better than I did as a kid.

I was way too sensitive as a kid. I could deal with adults, I felt like I understood animals, but other kids were a mystery to me. Once we were watching a slide show about the sun. I was spacing out, looking out the window. I remember it was one of the slide show movies with a loud beep to signal in the recording for the teacher to change the slide. I tuned in to pay attention just in time to hear that the sun was a star and would eventually burn out. But, because I hadn't been paying attention I thought they said it would burn out in 30 years not 30 million. (This highlights the value of paying attention kids.) I took in my little dose of misinformation and just absorbed it. I looked around at all my classmates and felt like I suddenly understood them. That it all made sense, the things they thought were funny that weren't, the way they acted so loud and wild. It was only news to me, they already knew we were all doomed and they were just determined to live it up. I went on thinking like that for months before I finally sorted it all out. See? Weird dark goth child. Maybe I was anemic, or prematurely depressed? I think having a strange viewpoint growing up sort of helps me now. I can usually come at things from some unexpected angle, because normal just eludes me. But poor Felix. I hope him and normal can become acquainted.

And while I'm rummaging through the junk left on the sidewalks of memory lane I can't leave out the big black dog. Grammar school our recess was out on the blacktop. Across from the blacktop there was this big grassy slope that looked out over the school and everyone set their coats and lunches on the hill. Now me, being anti-social and all, I sat up on the hill and watched. Sometimes I watched the games of the kids below, and sometimes I tried to see into the windows of the school and wondered what the teachers did when we were all outside. One day this big old black dog sauntered up to me on the hill. He was a little shy, like me, but eventually he sat beside me and I patted him. To me it was a thrill because secretly I was lonely and it was so nice to have some affection in the middle of the day. But as I was patting him I could feel his ribs sticking out . . .

I remember sitting in the principals office, crying, my nose running, gasping for breath in between sobs. The principal kept asking me what I had been thinking. And I really didn't get it. I know I was upset that an adult was upset with me but I truly didn't understand. My dog friend had been so hungry, and all the kids, well, they were obviously well fed.

I know some version of the big black dog will eventually find Felix. Maybe he can do better than I did and just feed the dog his own lunch and not every one's.

pummelled with my good fortune

2009-09-16T18:18:00.000-07:00

Things are ridiculously good. I've met so many amazing and incredibly nice people. I'm meeting with someone tomorrow to find out about showing some artwork at a winery. I'm meeting Friday with someone to help prepare for Oktoberfest. I'm meeting Tuesday with another writer whose work I really like.
After all the time and isolation I had back at the farm all these connections and shared interests are just blowing my mind. What have I done to get so danged lucky?
I'd be an ass not to appreciate it, but I don't want to jinx it either. So it all comes down to the butterflies. We have so many butterflies here that we don't even need flowers, they just flit about in the trees, on the deck and the front lawn. Big black ones with bright blue tips. Zebra striped ones and the occasional monarch. We have so many butterflies in fact that sometimes when I walk out the front door to fast I get smacked in the face with a wing. That's what my good fortune feels like right now. It's just silly.

Selling myself short

2009-08-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

My first time as a vendor in a fair! Sales-wise, not a spectacular showing, but not bad either considering the economy. I learned so much and I was so lucky to have a good friend to share it with.

I had made arrangements ages ago to borrow a tent from a friend and hadn't really given much thought to how I would display things. The week before the fair I was wracking my brain trying to think of a way to display it all. A neighbor friend offered the loan of a standing panel, like a woven shutter -and then I remembered the much neglected shutters in the shed of the big house at the farm. Lickety split I chatted with the current tenants and slipped three tall and four short shutters into the car. In the following week I painted them all white, Eric set hinges on the short ones so they'd stand independent and I muddled through with practice setups in the driveway. Not to reveal all my secrets but the tall shutters attached to the tent with rubber bands and hair-ties.

Originally I had thought I would just tack a few nails in the wood and hang the paintings like I do in the studio. That doesn't account for the wind though and then I realized that I could tie the canvases to the shutters with plain old kite string.

Friday evening we set up just the tent and then went home planning to set up the display the following morning. The mother of all storms hit about an hour later and I found myself barefoot in the pouring rain, bailing out Emer's egress window with a bucket. The gutter had clogged (right above it of course) and the view out her window became an odd kind of aquarium. I bailed the water from about waist height, back down to the rocks where it was supposed to be and then got the call from the fair that the tent had gone down and that's all they knew. They didn't know if it had blown away, been knocked down, broken. No details.

It was hard to sleep that night wondering what I had to look forward to in the morning. I packed up everything I would need to set up, all the paintings and rubber bands and kite string and decided to hope for the best.

Bern got there before me and did some of her own bailing, taking the water out of the canvas section on the top. Then we set into the work of putting the tent up again. One section was slightly bent and two pieces had come disconnected but this really nice Amish guy came along and helped us. He had a pocket knife, a beard and suspenders. After fixing the tent then we had the long process of setting up our display. The first day it honestly looked a little cluttered and busy and we hadn't yet figured out where the flow of traffic would go. By the second day the weather had improved and we streamlined the set up to be kind of a breeze through. I also put up some signs explaining who and what we were, and I threw caution to the wind, lowered my prices and talked more to customers. I was sorry to see the day end because I felt like I was just hitting my stride. The next event I have is Octoberfest in downtown Lovettsville where my new friend Kristin is trying to make a kind of art alley, Then Middleburg fair selling batiks with Mary, and then possibly the Waterford fair. I realize now though that most of these fairs are where people buy gifts for others rather than art for their own homes. With that in mind I plan to touch base with two antique stores in the area that sell things on commission since that is more my market. The pieces that didn't sell are re-posted on Etsy and I've dropped all my prices. A healthy dose of reality is good for that.

Another bonus of the fair was that I had the good fortune to meet some other artists in the booth next to us, one of which is a YA writer. And that got me to dust of the manuscript and have another go at it.

All and all it went pretty well considering I started the whole thing underwater and overwhelmed.

sitting around watching the paint dry

2009-08-10T14:57:00.000-07:00

I refuse to make excuses. But I will do some splainin'.
Stay -at- home mom..summertime, more busy.
New house, moving, cleaning out old house, more busy.
No internet at new house, more stir crazy than usual and more busy.

So it's August. What of it.
You want to start something with me on my lack of bloggability? Get in line. I have three small people taking turns telling me how much I suck on a minute by minute basis.
In all fairness, they have been really good sports about the hard stuff. The constant drives to and from. The endless boxing and un-boxing, the cleaning, the painting. They entertained themselves all pretty reasonably. It's just the last couple of days that they've all hit a limit of sorts and started a mutiny. The weird thing is that this is after I've been trying to make sure they have more fun, get to see more friends, really savor the last of the summer. Give them an inch and they seem to say WTF? I ordered a mile, and by the way -cut my milk!

I know we're probably just on the other side of the whole moving transition. I know it's a big change. It must be hard to suddenly have a bigger nicer house, neighbor friends in walking distance and a whole community of neighbors that all seem too good to be true. -We really have lucked out. We found this place, weighed our options, did a lot of math and what if scenarios, but we didn't account for the neighbor factor. It reminds me a little of the movie Ice Castles. -We forgot about the flowers.

I haven't painted anything but walls for a month or more, and my writing has been collecting dust. Always a good push in the right direction is the success of friends. A writer that had been kind enough to work with me for a bit recently got an agent. Besides being so happy for her, I'm also mad at myself. I'm looking forward to the school schedule so I can get back to writing more regularly. -And doubting myself and my commitment. Dang it. Maybe if I did only one thing I could be more successful. And maybe I should paint the basement a light warm tan. I don't know. Distractions are endless.

I really like having a house. More than that I like having people over. It's so different than the cave we'd been in. This house is so well suited to us it just amazes me. Lucky, lucky lucky. I feel a little guilty that it was at someone else's expense. I mean their misfortune led to the foreclosure that allowed us to be here. The best I can do is to try not to take it for granted. So I'm not. I won't.

Helpful in that respect is the lack of tv. Not even an antenna it's movies, netflix stuff, or internet for entertainment. Feel a little bad for the kids on that, but the chances of me actually getting things done is so much better without the visual crack box to fall back on. Marx said religion was the opiate of the masses but I think religion is playing second fiddle to t.v. these days.

So I've missed you, my invisible mostly imaginary friend. Stop by soon. Eventually I'll say something worthwhile. I'm going to go paint a wall or something.

July!? Already? Oh dear.

2009-07-08T08:13:00.000-07:00

Fast forward. We bought the house. Eric was in Amarillo at the time and I got to sign all the paperwork for both of us. I signed John Eric Arlington by Alice Mullen attorney in fact, and Alice Mullen like a zillion times and then it was done.

Funny thing I met with Eric afterward and we were having dinner in a local restaurant when he asked when we would get the keys. I forgot to ask for them and our realtor forgot to give them to us! She was so nice to drive out and drop them off right there and then for us though.

We've been a flurry of activity since then getting the house fixed up, and ready for us to move in. The place came with a riding lawnmower that was broken and Eric managed to fix it. Matter of fact his knack has come in pretty handy as he's fixed the dishwasher, and washing machine as well. He's also dug a trench and put in a pipe to fix a water drainage problem. With some help getting started I've painted two bathrooms and half of a bedroom. There's also been a lot of cleaning, but for the most part the house is just about ready for us. We've got a contractor putting in a window for the downstairs basement and then we'll move in. Right now we've been doing little day trips over bringing small loads of stuff each time.

A nice tradition we've started is that once we're done with whatever chores we planned while we're there we go for a walk on the trails that Eric has mowed. It's a nice way to wind down and remember why we like it there so much. There are fresh blackberries on the path and we usually see some kind of wildlife. Frogs by the pond, rabbits or a deer. Oddly the deer where Eric went camping were less wild then the ones in our backyard. This photo is from a camping trip Eric took the kids to in Shenendoah.

Okay. Back to packing and hauling things and such. -A

2009-06-05T04:38:00.001-07:00

We've begun the countdown to when we'll close on the new house. It's a weirdly exciting process to finally own a house and to plan this whole moving/settling in process. One of the best parts is that I'll have a garage as a studio. It has enough electricity to run the kiln and to do the batik work I've been making and start experimenting with encaustic painting which is a really nice blending of both the batik work and oil painting. I might even be able to give some painting classes in the studio.

I'm still plugging away at the writing process. I've been taking a writing course online and I'm pleased with both how demanding it has been and the quality of work from the other students. What I need to do is start submitting the pieces I've written.

In a weird twist of fate we finally have some neighbors in the big house and I really like them. It's so nice to see people outside and just go and hang out. It's been especially nice for Tully to have a little friend her own age to play with. It's going to be difficult to move away from them.

I'm gearing up for the Lucketts Fair in August making a variety of paintings at different price ranges to try and sell. If it goes well I might try and do the Waterford Fair as well. Word on the street is that it's a more art oriented program and the people with heavy wallets are more prone to show up and spend. We'll see.

Sort of a boring post but them's the facts Jack. I'll try and post photos of all the new work I've been making soon.

Diving in.

2009-04-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

So I'm surprised that after feeling locked out of the housing market for so long that being a prospective home buyer is not really all that exciting to me. That said, we seem to have found a house or it has found us. All the arguments against buying have dawdled off and left me standing on the precipice of this really huge decision. I'm oddly detached. I tell a few friends and they congratulate us. -Really? We're taking on a huge fiscal responsibility that could be like an albatross around our necks weighing us down and limiting our options in a shifting sea of uncertainties. Yay?
Usually I'm pretty in tune with myself. I've got a pretty good handle on what I'm feeling and why most of the time. Maybe it's just that this is uncharted territory for us, a great unknown. Maybe it's because we've studied the housing bubble for so long that we can't be swayed with the allure of home decorating. I don't know. -And that's so odd to me since usually I'm such an insufferable know-it-all.
Some comfort as we head into this is that as much as we've settled into our lives here at the farm, the park authority that runs it has a 15 yr plan for the property that doesn't include us. I think I would feel better leaving here if something would break or someone would make me mad. It seems so counter intuitive to leave when things are good. Hmm. Much to ponder.

And on the subject of pondering I've realized that too often with this blog I play it safe. I recently stumbled into a blog - Pacing in the Panic Room and I left mesmerized by how the author, Ryan had entered into this thing, this process so fully. In his writing he revealed himself with a capital R, allowing himself to be vunerable and sentimental and just so achingly human that I felt privileged to witness his journey. Also for a long time I've followed Sharon in her blog Weapons of Mass Distraction, so much so that I feel like I could count her as a friend. She's clued me in to so many cool sites and music and art that I owe her a great debt, yet we've never met. And Holy Cow what that girl can do with a camera can curl your toes. This whole blogging thing is an amazing use of technology and with it we make these fumbling gestures at creating community, and sometimes folks succeed in doing just that.
So I found myself thinking about it. Why don't I do that? No. Really.
You see I know there aren't that many people that read this. What am I doing it for if I'm not going to take any risks? And in the thinking I discovered what I'd forgotten.
Long long time ago I was 18 and left home. My father and I parted on bad terms, my mother, showing signs of dementia, was with him. I was over stuffed with melodramatic crap from books and movies, so full of my sense of right and wrong that I wouldn't speak to my dad. I had all sorts of trials and tribulations but every Thursday while my dad was at work I would call my mom and let her know that I was okay. I prided myself on my ability to turn everything into a good story, to get a laugh out of her, to make sure she didn't worry. I remember calling from a payphone when I was living in a motel with all sorts of troubles weighing down on me, but she laughed and I felt like I'd done my job for the week.

So this blog has been like those phone calls for me. I keep it light, I try and hit the funny points here and there but I never dig too deep or reveal myself too much. I wouldn't want anyone to worry. But I think I'm going to try and change that -either that or just be much funnier.
And in the spirit of jumping off into new things. Here is the latest painting I've started. It's still in the very early stages but it's ginormous and it'll be a journey getting it where I want it. Also very excited to be getting a big jug of Dorland's wax medium to paint with. I've never used it before but I've seen how it can be used and have great hopes. Thanks to a gift cert it was free!

If Dr. Suess ran a hatchery

2009-04-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

Usually I'm not a big fan of dyeing eggs for Easter. My family wasn't big on the tradition; or if we did, we were lackadaisical about actually having an Easter egg hunt. Little did I know how much fun it could be if you know the right people.
The kids and I and Eric made these beauties at Mary's house with hot wax and batik methods. Almost too pretty to eat, but we'd better eat them soon. Egg salad anyone?

It seems fitting to be looking at pictures of eggs though because aside from Easter it seems that we're waiting for all sorts of things to hatch.
(Tapping my toe and pointedly looking at you Kristi. But no pressure, really. tap tap tap. anytime now. tap tap)
We're waiting to see if the renewed dream of buying a house will hatch into something real and watching all the greenery explode around us. Things are good, and more good things will come.

Straws and camels

2009-03-30T13:00:00.000-07:00

There comes a point when enough is just enough.

Damn you wood paneling, damn you to hell. (read threatening scowl, shaking fist here).

So tired of facing these dark brown walls for yet another day I fought back and I might have actually won. I used every trick I've ever heard of, big white ceiling to floor curtains (more to cover the wall than the window), mirrors everywhere, more white accessories than you can shake a stick at. As if that wasn't enough, I peeled off the two layers of grimy old wallpaper behind the sink in the kitchen and painting the small bit of non-wood white. I don't have before and after photos because it was such a dark cave before even the camera said, "No thanks I'd rather not." But here are a few of the improvements. And because they're my kind of improvements they were all on the cheap.

The result? Entirely more tolerable. It's not the Taj Mahal but at least I'm not internally cringing every time my eyes bump against the structural necessities of my confinement.

Now that the interior is more better I can focus on more important things. Like what you ask? New items in the shop! I'm taking spring cleaning to a new level and offering new listings of all styles and sizes, older work, newer stuff and more to come. Keep posted. My continuing frustration is with the quality of my photos of the paintings. Every version I can get of clear lighting also reflects a bit off the oil giving a slightly washed out look that doesn't really show the vibrancy of the colors. Ah, well I'll keep at it regardless.

In the writing realm I'm been having a lot more success with a program called scrivener that allows you to divide chapters into scenes and shuffle and rearrange. I've revised up to chapter 5 and I'm hopeful that I'm getting somewhere. I've also been so very lucky to find another writer to share work with. It's time to sign up for some online classes though and get the show on the road.

In the more mundane realm of family. Eihmear had a birthday, which once a year is about what you'd expect. I think 9 will be good for her, I'm hopeful. She recently finished The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe series, she came in 4th in a chess tournament and she has been inventing things. I think it's safe to say that she's developing into a very well rounded geek.

Felix has been overly tired, maybe from growing? Maybe from staying up late reading comics? Who knows, luckily he's still very sweet most of the time and tells me he loves me about a million times a day. He's been really enjoying piano and showing a bit of a knack for it. And did I mention he won an art competition? The whole school participated in the contest to design the cover for the year book. (Don't get me started on how crazy I think it is for an elementary to have a yearbook.) Felix won for both his grade and the whole school. So his picture will be on the cover. Unfortunately I don't have any shots of it and I'll have to buy the yearbook. Neat idea though, the school mascot is a lion. So he drew a lion, did the whole picture in watercolors and then ripped up pieces of paper with his friend's and teacher's names on them and filled in the picture like a collage. That's my little man in the middle.

Tully is fierce mild as of late. When she's upset or angry she goes up to the tree house and picks her nose. This has been the year of the stink bug and many of them have become her pets. I think this is fine until she tries to put them on leashes and take them for walks. I heard her one day outside yelling "Hi!" She was so loud and friendly I looked in the drive to see who was here but there was no one. I walked around the house to find her and she was in the backyard saying hi to the horses. They bend their heads down over our fence to get at the grass (you know, greener of course) and she hugs their noses. They're very tolerant. They might even like it. I've decided though for the most part that horses are just very big rabbits with smaller ears. Grass, grass, grass, nibble nibble. ect.

objects in the mirror are stranger than they appear

2009-03-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

Okay. So the thing that's really disorienting about Facebook is all these people popping up out of the woodwork from my hometown, my high school, grammar school ect. There was a 30 rock episode that pretty much sums up my experience with this but I couldn't find a clip to link to here. The basic gist was that Tina Fey's character thought she was a geek, a loser that everyone picked on. The truth was that she was so defensive she was verbally attacking people, making jokes at their expense all through school and they all thought she was a bully. I don't know where in the spectrum I fall but it sure felt familiar as I watched it. I feel like I owe everyone from my hometown an apology. I wasn't very nice, or very aware of anything other than how miserable I was. So very glad not to be there any more.

I'm done with my short obsession with moving or buying a house. It's a kind of crazy that can take you over imagining possible futures in different places. My only hang up with staying here on the farm is that the park authority won't let me paint the wood paneling and the sight of it makes me ill. I'm reviewing various schemes for covering it up. None of which Eric will approve.

We got Emer a spacing retainer to help spread her jaw to fit all those big teeth. And I'm comforting myself with what an expensively beautiful smile she'll have someday. It's difficult for her to talk with it in, it's uncomfortable and difficult to get used to ,but she's being an incredibly good sport about it all.

I signed up to sell my artwork at the local fair this summer. I'm sharing the space with my Tuesday Night Art Group so it's bound to be fun even if it isn't profitable.

I refuse to post another false promise to post pictures later. Look, me and the camera are having an argument. I don't want to get into it.

Enough all ready. meh.

2009-01-08T07:27:00.000-08:00

I finished the first rough draft of what we will loosely refer to here as, -the novel. Now my plan is to let it stew for a few weeks, get some distance from it and then when I return to it, turn it into something I would actually want to read. As a late xmas gift to myself, or just to celebrate, I got myself a new bracelet. I'll include pictures later once I find the camera. Coolest piece of jewelry EVER. Made from old typewriter keys. Put it on my writing hand, of course.

I'm interested in the way my brain shifts focus after being so intent for what felt like so long. I haven't jumped into a new story but I have jotted down twenty or more ideas to turn into stories, for different age groups. Though it seems like a lame file to have in my documents I actually put them all into an 'idea box' so I have something to draw from when the well runs dry.

Then I started painting again. I started reworking the huge abstract, and then ideas and color combinations started flooding my brain. I'll be lucky if I can get them all onto a canvas in the time I have, but I'll try. Even though big canvases are my big happy right now I'm going to try and knock off some smaller pieces to post on the etsy site. I might even create some small booklets of my stories to offer for sale.

As for random thoughts on another subject entirely. A huge flock of canadian geese came honking by this morning and it was such a drizzly cold rainy day I felt sorry for them for a second, living out in the elements. And then it dawned on me that they love the water, and they love to fly, so flying in the rain would be the best of both worlds for them. Lucky ducks, or erm geese. They still look like flying bowling pins to me though.

60,633 words

2008-12-17T17:00:00.000-08:00

That's 106 pages. 302 pages when it's double spaced. But the end is in sight, I'm nearly there and when I get there I'm going to have to go through it all with a big red pen. Yay me? I guess it's a little soon for Yay.

Santa is a chump

2008-12-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

Seriously, who would have thought there could be a down side to the kids not watching too much tv or not having cable? How could it prove to be detrimental to our experience as parents? I didn't see it coming, that's for sure.

If they watched T.V., if they were well versed in commercial culture, they'd have a whole host of gimme items ready for the 'season of giving.' But no, my kids make stuff up for Santa to make just for them, creations straight from their brains to the little hands of the elves. I guess it makes sense to imagine that for a magical fellow inventing new things wouldn't be hard. Maybe they could include blue prints or specs though. .

Tully this year tells me that Santa will bring her a duck that makes sounds. Not just quaking sounds, but cow and sheep sounds too, maybe even naming things as it sees them. It will also walk and go up and down stairs. This was after she told me that real Santa, come down the chimney Santa, was dead. He has since then apparently recovered. Good to know Jesus hasn't cornered the market on resurrections.

Felix is looking for a crane, of course the elves will know how to make that, because they gave him one last year (a handy-me-down that eventually broke). This year he wants it to be as tall as the Christmas tree and strong enough to lift Daddy. I think there was something in there about wheels and remote controls but I tuned out at some point overwhelmed by impossibility. He did say Santa might just surprise him, so there's some wiggle room.

Emer, as if sensing Santa's malaise, has gone uncharacteristically easy this year and simply wants a chef's hat and apron. This is a big improvement from last year when she wanted a remote controlled robot horse. But don't be fooled by the apparent ease of filling her request. You couldn't possibly think it would be that simple could you? She's been learning about electronics with Eric and wants to hook up a motion detector somewhere near the stockings so she can collect evidence of Santa's existence. Ah, the innocence and simplicity of youth.

Meanwhile if you ever need to make a calendar for your family from photos, the IMac kicks butt. It was so much easier this year, one might even say painless.

Yesterday the girls had their Irish Dance recital and they both did really well and had a lot of fun up on stage. I laughed through Tully's whole performance I was so tickled. We're going to get the video they offer of the performance later and I'll probably post a link.

In other news, the novel. 286 pages and I probably have 3-5 chapters to go. Then I need to let it rest for a while and get some distance from it. As for the middle school book, agent man tells me he'll have critique done by New Year's and also have some others read it.

Meet my epiphany

2008-11-20T07:40:00.000-08:00

Epiphany, this is everyone.

Everyone, this is my epiphany. (Yes she's a little scrawny but don't tell her that.)

Alternating chapters with a different time line! A fiction book about the failing economy is asking a lot of readers. It's demanding and tedious to get the ideas down, throw in examples, instances where dynamics are at work. It's a little dull, I'll admit it. My novel is dull.
How to spice it up? It's not like I don't have a huge word count goal to work with here, what to do besides throw in some sex? There's a whole after the climax/ending story that makes the slow tedious build up worth it.

So I'm going to interlace in the story chapters from the future tracing back to the big climax while the alternating storyline of the past ticks forward toward the climax and they culminate in the wham bam present! Structurally it make sense to me, but I'll be surprised if I can pull it off. What the hell, it's worth a try. Also I found a hell of an opening line so at least that's going well.

Meanwhile Epiphany's ugly cousin, Belated Realization, has been lurking around and this is what she told me: It's time I let go of the fantasy of agent-man reading my manuscript and falling in love with it or passing it along to someone who could love it.
It was a nice fantasy but really it's not getting me anywhere.

That said, you can only have one first time. No matter where I go with the writing he will always be the first agent to read my work. I don't want to sully that relationship by nagging emails asking if he's read it yet or forgotten all about it. Like the one night stand that keeps calling afterward I don't want to be that girl. Busy man, reading manuscripts that need to become books. I'm on his desk somewhere, he'll find the time eventually, and with a little patience I'll still have my self respect. Seriously if he doesn't write back by December I'm going to go nuts. Maybe it's taking so long because he's tediously listing how each sentence truly sucks. Ack.

To keep my mind off it, I focus on my word counts with nanowrimo and trying to hit my goals. Which for some reason reminds me of the title of a book, Run Rabbit Run.

In other news we're trying to pick art night back up though it's harder to get out of the house in the winter, it's worth it to see Mary as she's recovering from surgery. This is my latest project with her, called an expanded square. There's rules with it and it feels kind of restrictive at first, but once you start breaking the rules, like with most things it becomes more fun.

words, words, and then a whole lot more of them

2008-11-14T05:22:00.000-08:00

I couldn't help it. I'd missed last year, I'd forgotten that November was coming around again and now it's here. Nation Novel Writing Month. Ack! http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Now the problem is that I already have half a novel that I'd been tinkering away on and I didn't want to cheat -that's just not the spirit of the whole thing. I didn't want to start a new novel and abandon my original idea -I have so few good ideas that I follow through to fruition. So I made myself a deal. The goal of Nanowrimo is to make it to 50,000 words by the end of the month. I made it to that total yesterday, so now I'm going to start counting towards the next 50,000 and that will give me just oodles of material to slash and burn when I go to editing. I might not make it, but what a rush to try.

And as a newbie to the whole process I'm making some classic mistakes like jotting down some ideas for another story and wasting precious words on that. So if you look at my word counts and it doesn't seem impressive just remember I've got another 50,000 in my back pocket. So phooey on you.

No seriously, I've got to get back to work.

Happy Election Day!

2008-11-04T13:01:00.001-08:00

This is Tully's constant companion lately. He's had a few different names. For the longest time I thought it was just, my creature, but apparently it was Emaleash first, then there was a super hero phase where he was Super Red, and now he is named Magnetscrew. She takes the cake in the quirky kid competition.

Eric and I are like zombie people lately with head colds that seem to bar all but truly critical functions of day to day life. The only silver lining is the big happy of election day.

I realized today that this is like a holiday for me in the way Xmas used to be when I was a kid. When I wake up in the morning I have no idea what's going to be waiting for me under the tree. I hope I've been good and I don't have a piece of coal to look forward to.

I voted, did you?

3 posts in a month? What the heck!

2008-10-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

Here are my illustrations for the story, Elliot's Weekend. With some of the text that led to each. I'm sending them out today to two mags. Yeah that's right, I'm on a first syllable name basis with a periodical. What of it?

.. .Friday Elliot's dad picks him up from school. He gives Elliot crackers and an apple to eat while they drive and a bottle of water to drink. Elliot waits for the red lights before he unscrews the cap and drinks the water.. . Elliot's dad unpacks his pajamas and helps him change. They go to the bathroom and brush their teeth. Daddy is wearing his silly pajamas with the monkeys all over.

. . .and then the happy ending -

Where I'm headed

2008-10-05T06:08:00.000-07:00

Rough idea for an abstract. Done with Art Rage, a free program that mimics paint. Even has a palette knife effect. When I get it on canvas I want to experiment and throw some sand into the wet paint.

I remember I have a blog!

2008-10-04T05:10:00.000-07:00

I haven't been very blogtastic as of late but things are looking up so it's still worth checking back here, you know, like twice a year and I might have a new post or two.

Summer ended, school began, and my few hours alone each morning are a big happy.
I'm finally getting organized with my priorities and figuring out what I'm doing. It had felt before like I had to choose between painting and writing and I had been focusing most of my attention on writing but having finished a few manuscripts and done some research it seems like illustrating my pieces is fairly practical. If you look at my work it has more of an illustrative style than fine art anyway. The only difficulty is switching from oil to acrylic but that's more of a fun challenge than a problem. One of my favorite illustrators, Georg Hallensleben, is a former oil painter who now does Acrylic and his stuff rocks my world. Hopefully his style can inform mine.

The manuscripts:
I have one very short story for early readers about a boy's first weekend visit to his dad's new apartment, titled Elliot. I'm going to illustrate it with three small pieces and submit it to some children's literature magazines. It was doing the research about that market where I learned that doing my own illustrations makes sense. I had thought that it was just a conceit or vanity to want to see my artwork with my writing, but then it dawned on me -that's twice the paycheck because you're doing two jobs! I'm looking at the submission and rejection process as just that, a process that I'll have to chug through for quite a while before I begin to make progress but I'll be learning the whole time.

I have another small chapter book for late elementary to middle grade readers. I'm really excited about this one. Recently there was a writing competition here in Leesburg based on the American Idol show. 3 literary agents served as the panelists. They explained that more and more these days the fate of a book lies in the title and the tag line.
This was mine.

Title:
Learning Magic: A step by step guide for solving problems of sibling rivalry with curses, hexes, potions and spells.

Tag line:
Saddled with an unusual name, unhappy in her family, and escaping into the magic of books a bit too often, Dorcas Fidelia Meadows gives herself the task of proving that magic is real and then using it to fix her life.

Based on the tag line I made it to the Maybe pile. Later, looking at my query letter I was promoted to the Yes pile. All of the manuscripts from this pile were read out loud for a minute and a half and the audience of writers voted.

I won second place. The prize is to have my manuscript professionally critiqued by an agent. Yippee!

I have another small elementary age book, that I plan to illustrate with sharp well composed photos titled Woo.

I also have what could be a Young Adult or just plain novel titled A Fragile Collapse. -This is the one that's especially frustrating lately. 6 months ago it had sounded really cutting edge and interesting to look at a single mother convinced the next great depression was coming and preparing in more and more extreme ways till there is a breaking point between her and the teenage daughter.
The concept is still good, but less cutting edge. Now I have to focus on character development, plot and the rest of it instead of relying on clever concept.

I'm thinking I'll still use the Etsy site to sell prints of the illustrations I make. I might also offer a line of the abstracts I'm making. I did one for a friend as a house warming gift and it was so much fun I'm going to have to do more. This is 3 1/2 feet wide. It's supposed to be Rothko-esque but looks more like a frozen screen in an old school video game. Dig it I've got a new signature.

The kids are all doing really well. Emer is still taking Irish dance, plus skateboarding and piano lessons. Felix has been taking swimming lessons and has been panicking less in the water. He's reading like crazy and loves kindergarten and is also learning piano. Tully has a blast in preschool and the morning daycare with Ms. Wendy. She brings home all sorts of artwork and new songs and she's started doing a little Irish dance class too.

Apply Heat and Pressure

2008-07-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

I wish things would just slow down for a little bit. For one thing, the headlines. I mentioned that I'm trying to write a novel -it seems pretentious to even admit it but what the heck, trying to do something is better than not trying. The problem is that the plot is built off of current events and things keep happening. My fiction hardly has any chance of being prophetic and insightful if it just describes the real world. How annoying.

In other news of the annoying, Eric is back in Kazhikstan for the rest of the summer. I remember when he got back from the last time, and he was feeling a little guilty about being away I had said something along the lines of, 'It wasn't all that bad, at least they all had school. I can't imagine if it was during the summer.'

Well at least I won't have to strain my imagination muscles. Lucky for me Eric's grandparents gave both Emer and Felix the gift of some summer camp, so those two weeks should help. And I could sign up for more if I'm going too crazy. I'm trying to fill up the calendar with activities and I'm developing a schedule for each day along with their list of chores so they know what to expect. There isn't much I can't handle, but this is one of those things that makes me whine, "Do I really have to?"

While he is gone I also have to plan a birthday party soon for Tully who is turning 3! And that's really the light at the end of the tunnel because she's going to do some preschool next year and hopefully fingers crossed some day care hours in the morning! I say fingers crossed because full time kids take priority in the day care across the hall from her preschool so I have to wait and see if she got in. It will be mighty convenient if she does though. I can even have Felix bused to the community center so I can pick them both up at the same time.

The highlight of the summer for me so far though was our trip to Chincoteague. We stayed in this really cute little old cottage and it was just so nice. Eric and I found it a little surreal that our idea of a vacation spot was somewhere that had sidewalks and a walkable downtown area. We were so fortunate that Kristi and Alise were able to come down and spend some time with us. Having friends to share the experience made it all the better. Best of all we were walking distance to the best ice cream shop where they also made fudge! The kids were also introduced to letterboxing and I have to say it was a lot of fun

Besides focusing on keeping the summer sane and trying to be productive I also have the garden to focus on as everything is coming up and thriving. Anyone need some zukes?

Here I am!

2008-05-02T17:04:00.001-07:00

To post or not to post. . . well for the last few months, you can see where I fell in that spectrum. But here I am again, wondering what I have to say. I think I've been using up all my words in a new writing jag I've been on. I have one manuscript for a children's book done, but I'm working on the illustrations for it. I have the first in a series of early reader books done. I'm in the beginning stages of a young adult novel -or it might just be a novel novel, and I'm trying to round out an essay I'm submitting. When I put it all down like that it sounds like I've been getting a lot done, which is comforting since I don't have anything to show for it all yet.

In writing I miss how immediate the results are with painting. I saw a documentary recently on the life of Georges Remi aka Herge the author/artist of Tin Tin. In it there was a point where he discussed wanting to be a fine artist rather than a cartoonist but he lamented that to be a fine artist he would have to live the life of an artist and that he couldn't fit two lives into his one. Something to that effect. It made sense to me.

My idea of starting an art collective has settled into a great Tuesday night tradition of painting/sketching/experimenting with a few friends and this has been a nice way to keep the creativity going.

On the farm here, spring is springing. It's all so beautiful it's almost cliche. This year I got ambitious about the garden and I also tried to design it a little more interesting than plain rows. The teepee you see in the center here has morning glory and moonflowers all at it's base and it should fill out to be a nice spot for the kids. Also the garden is made up almost entirely things that they could eat right off the vine. This is handy since Tully has developed a taste for mint, wild onions, sage and garlic chives. Her breath most nights, when I haul her in from the outdoors, is atrocious.

Project wise I'm still recovering from a bout of furniture painting that took me over as I sanded, primed, and painted two bedside tables as a welcome home present for Eric. Notice how sturdy these things are. The kids could climb all over them and they aren't going to tip over. I couldn't believe what they were charging in stores for the flimsiest little things. The shape of them is sort of classic seventies but with the paint I thought it looked stylish. I also found an old window in a shed here and I taped off the glass, spray painted it black and mounted pics of the kids, dogs and us to each pane and hung it above the bed. I think it looks fabu, but he didn't notice it until I mentioned it. I thought it would be nice to have our room look more like our room and less like the place we shove stuff not meant for the kids, only to have them drag their stuff into our stuff and leave all the stuff lying around. -Of course that only happens when you're blatenly neglecting them to finish silly over ambitious projects.

The luckiest flat tire, ever.

2008-02-15T16:40:00.000-08:00

So two days after the long car saga I piled the kids in the car and we were going to the store to pick up toothpaste, and hit the library. I know it's just too exciting to bare. So we'd barely pulled down the drive and I was asking the kids to quiet down because something didn't sound right with the car. By the time we hit the road I was telling Felix more firmly to hush up so I could hear that noise. By the time I got to the main drag I was running through this laundry list of new vocabulary words, front wheel alignment, struts, maybe loose lugnuts, maybe a loose tire? I drove as I ran through the options in my head. Realizing I was low on gas I pulled over to Costco. While I was filling up walked around the car and checked all the lug nuts only to see I had a flat tire. Very flat. I turned to the couple near me and asked if they could see an air pump near by. There wasn't. But the gentleman directed me to Costco's tire department to fill it. So I did. They were slow at the time and the man asked me to pull around and offered to take a look at it. As he put air in it, we could both see the nail and the hear the air hissing out. My first reaction was to kid around with the guy and in the process I blurted out that we had bought the tires at Costco. I had only meant to tease him about the quality of the tires, I mean -not impervious to nails? The nerve. The man's eyes lit up and he told me to go around to the office because they were probably on warranty -and lo and behold they were! So that's how I got my free tire.

Of course I had to wait for an hour for them to put it on. The kids and I killed time getting four big tubes of toothpaste. Little did I realize that it was the worst container of toothpaste ever. The kids were incapable of getting the attached cap to click on, and left on its side the paste just pours out to form these huge blue lagoon style puddles on the edge of the sink. But hey, I got a free tire! If I'd have gone anywhere else I probably wouldn't have remembered where we'd bought them and I would have just paid to have it replaced.
At this point I realize that the glitches in my system of three bad things are just too hard to work out. I have to re-envision history in order to fit events into the theory and it's failing all together at helping to predict when I'm done with a string of bad luck. I mean does a flat tire even count if it's replaced for free? Does a bad tune up count if it's refunded? These are some of the things I found myself pondering as I lay curled in a fetal position at the base of the stairs with a broken ankle.
The hallway light had gone out earlier in the day and I was worried about the kids falling in the dark stairwell. While dinner was cooking I had a little time so I went up to the first landing and got the lightbulb out and headed down the stairs. As I headed down I remember thinking that this wasn't so dark. Then I missed the last three steps. The lightbulb however remained unbroken. Can you imagine how inconvenient it would have been to clean up the broken glass? I spent a little time cursing like a sailor (no offense to the clean mouthed sailors in the world). The hardest part was pulling it together to tell Emer to just give me a minute, so that she wouldn't be scared. Then the timer went off on the dinner in the stove, so like Pavlov's dog I answered the beep and hopped up and got the dinner out on their plates, and served at the table. When I sat down to rest for a minute, I realized that I felt like I needed to pass out and throw up. Kneeling near the toilet I figured that either my ankle was broken or I was really turned off by my own cooking at this point.

I really like bed time for the kids. Once they've had dinner, we're on a getting ready for bed trajectory that I just hate to interrupt. I knew that once they were all in bed I could think it through clearly, call friends and pull together a plan for childcare and a ride to a doctor -because my luck being what it is, I busted my driving foot ankle. We finished the kid part of the evening, but not before making all 20 of Felix's valentines for his classmates and his party at school the next day, clearing up the kitchen and all the other chores. Emer helped a great deal tucking people into bed and fetching things for me. Once they were all in bed I made my calls, again realizing how fortunate I am to have found so many great people to populate my life. By the time I went to bed, I had a plan. Next morning that plan had to be scrapped because school was canceled on account of the ice storm, and before I even had time to really scramble, friends called and offered to help. At the hospital I was really happy to get it wrapped up and to get crutches, because as adept as I am at hopping, it gets old, as does crawling up the stairs. Then the next day Eric came home! He was so out of it with tired though, that it was like he was only half here. I think it's also really disorienting to come from his experience to this home. For five weeks he's had a driver, security guard, translator, laundry lady, cafeteria lady and maid, as well as no kids.
Today I went to get my cast and the silliest things pleased me. Having a ride that I didn't have to call for, having an appointment with a doc by myself. Again I got lucky! Instead of a cast and all the trouble I'd have keeping it dry in the shower, or trying to drive or not being able to drive, I have a boot! Oh happy boot. And just in time too, because by now the crutches were killing me and I ached all over from using them. My friendly boot fitter explained that the crutches were set all wrong for me and I shouldn't have to stoop way over to use them. And I'm satisfied to know that I'm not some crutch wimp with no upper body strength, no, I am super mom, queen of all things difficult and unlucky. Queen of the universe.I'm also just so satisfied to know that there really isn't anything I can't handle. Eric has been helpful since he got home, but he's also not babying or pampering me either. At first this annoyed me a little. I mean, I had a few ordeals, not to mention the usual grind of kids needing so much all the time and he didn't fuss over me or drown me in 'poor baby' kind of comfort. What I realize though, is that it isn't that he doesn't appreciate all that I went through or that it was difficult, it's just that he had all the confidence in the world that I could handle it. He never doubted that I could handle it, and the only one that's at all surprised is me.

Lucky 3

2008-02-02T20:18:00.001-08:00

I know. It's almost eerie the silence over here. We're actually fairing pretty well, though the first two weeks seemed like a trial by fire, which came to test my confidence in the number 3.

You see it's always seemed to me that bad things came in threes. I like it. It's a small number, you rack up three bad things, and then you know you're done. What I found though was the problems with the system, glitches. You see, I was counting the failed hot water heater as 1, the dog throwing up on the bed as 2, and a simple tune-up on the car gone horribly wrong as 3. So you see I was done. But then with the three inches of very wet snow, the power failed, and I quickly realized that dog vomit is not as bad as I had previously assessed.

So we made it for two hours with no electricity. I went into planning mode and I quickly fixed them dinner, put them all into their warmest PJ's, and we lit the candles and told stories. Then the power came on again, and we did a little power is great dance, spent a half hour watching tv and then it went out again. So once it got dark we all went up to bed and Emer and I tried to remember the plot of every Shrek movie. Tully eventually fell asleep -Emer is an excited story teller, then Felix then Emer. I fell asleep quickly.

Later my luck turned. But I have to go back before I can go forward. You see I had originally scheduled a tune up for the car because it was sounding a bit funny and I suspected the air filter was clogged and needed replacing. Eric had taken his car for a check up before his trip and he had told me the story of all the mechanics huddled around his car laughing, only to discover they were laughing because his air filter was filled with nuts. So with visions of nuts in my air filter I strolled into the dealership and explained my crazy theory of air filters and a car that didn't seem to have the right amount of pick up. Have you been to a dealership? Because this is how they set up the mark; let you sit in the waiting room with cnn repeating the same stories for what seems an eternity, call out your name with their little clip board in hand and say they'd just like to talk over a few things with you. This is where they pile on the additional services that would cost a fraction at a regular mechanic and try to talk you into going for the full service package. I was in that waiting room long enough to see the pattern, also to see that besides the elderly and women there weren't any stereotypical -I have an innate knowledge of cars type fellas around either.

So the guy called me over for our little talk and I agreed to replace the left front strut that was leaking. I also said I would probably reschedule another day to have the brakes and rotors replaced but that I really had to go. I also asked on my air filter and if it had been checked. Guy told me it had, tried to talk me into more. Finally, I leave the dealership. I run some errands and then have all three kids in the car and the engine light comes on, suddenly the car is straining to get up hill. I managed to get where I was going, though I was pretty stressed out at this point. Luckily a friend had met me where we were dropping the kids, she followed me back to the dealership where I left the keys, as well as a few choice words about how I had taken the car there so this wouldn't happen and that I wanted a diagnosis by the morning. Morning came and I called only to be told that I have a failed throttle position sensor which is a non serviceable part and the entire throttle body would need to be replace for 1750! Oh but the dear gents offered to get to my brakes too. So scrambling in my mind for some rational thing that had been overlooked I asked again about my air filter and if it had been checked and he said that it had and I asked if he could verify that it had been checked and he said he could. I also asked about the fuel filter, same story. I told him I would call him later to tell him what I had decided but that at the moment I had no confidence in either their ability or trustworthiness. Okay, my language was a little more course than that, but I'm giving you the cleaned up version. Long story short, no really it's still long -I limped it over to another mechanic and they took the throttle apart, cleaned it, put it back together and charged not much at all. I had them replace the brake pads and resurface the rotors too. They are now on my xmas card list and I'm going to bring them home baked cookies. They liked my nuts in the filter story, especially when they pulled out my filter to see that is was as black as night.

I went back to the dealership. With Tully on my hip, her naked Madeline doll in her hand and a dirty filter in my other hand. I dropped it on the guys desk and asked if he had a minute. I gave him my tirade, loud enough so other customers could hear, he sent me to the service manager, I repeated my shpeal and they stonewalled me. At this point I was shaking. There's this adreneline rush that comes with confrontation and for me it's like a whole pot of coffee. I threatened to call the better business bureau, call one of those consumer reporters from the local news agency, and take them to small claims court. I felt like the shaking was my tell though and it was giving away my bluff that I don't really have the time or resources to pursue all that. They said I could do what I please, and that an air filter wasn't covered in the minimal tune up. I left feeling foolish. Still shaking. Air filter with me of course for my fictional court case.

20 minutes later I got the call that they would be refunding the cost of the tune up back to my card. I think the naked Madeline doll was the most compelling component of my argument though. And while I was getting the call about that I proceeded to find 3 cheap and sturdy pieces of furniture that we'd been needing at Salvation Army! My lucky day!

That's all the story I have time for tonight but in my next installation of the continuing saga I'll tell the tale of the luckiest flat tire I've ever had. It's a much shorter story I promise.

Things are looking up! And here's proof. Don't forget to vote!

Yes We Can - Barack Obama Music Video

2008-02-02T20:10:00.001-08:00

He made it!

2008-01-09T09:11:00.001-08:00

Eric called me today and after a long long flight and not much sleep, he is in Biakanor Kazakhstan. Funny stories about his trip include the painful gas he had for the first length of his journey, Moscow and the very very deep subway system and the old green train that lives there, and his bag that didn't make it when he did. The latest word is that his bag just made it to Moscow and it should be reunited with him by Friday. With just the clothes on his back I'm glad he had a heavy coat, hat and gloves with him on the plane, it's 5 below there now. He washed his clothes in the bathtub of his room and dried them with a hair dryer. He brushed his teeth with a face cloth and the good times have just begun!
He sounded exhausted but upbeat and I'm sure he's going to have a great experience finally being at a launch after 7 years in aerospace. He's going to email me some of his adventures with pictures and I'll post them here since international travel is so interesting. I'll keep you all posted on how we're managing here as well. I'm pretty upbeat as well though, as I've had plenty of time to prepare for the idea and I think I've got my head in the game. Raising three kids in the comfort of my home beats the crap out of hand washing my one set of clothes in a tub.

foot flushers and peanut packers

2007-12-16T14:35:00.000-08:00

As pet peeves go, I don't have many, but there was an incident here that brought one of mine to the forefront of my thinking, and while I'm venting about one thing I figured I may as well vent about the other in the spirit of public education. Get your pencils ready people, take good notes, I don't want to go over this again.

Packing peanuts.
Can we just call evil by its name? Packing peanuts. You haven't really been saving them to ship your packages carefully - you've been hoarding them to foist the problem on some other poor sap. With their static-y whiteness, their tempting tacky texture -practically daring children to shred them into a million pieces and leave a trail like styrafoam snow through the house. Packing peanuts are the herpes of the shipping industry. And now I've got herpes all across my front lawn and I love the planet, but it's really cold out, and I can't feel my fingers anymore. The plastic bags you get from the grocery store, you know the ones they give you when you habitually forget to bring the reusable ones to the store? Stuff those in a box, that's a good plan, it can soften the blow of any impact and it's easily recycled. Though, I recently learned and did you know that those plastic bags don't mix well with your general recyclables? You can look for a special recycling drop off for them, often at the grocery store. But really, try to remember the reusable bags! That's what I keep telling myself anyway. But no more packing peanuts! End the insanity now!

Foot flushers.
You know who you are, but again in the interest of public education let us go over the facts, shall we? Public restrooms are dirty germ infested places, but if you do things right you can still use them and come out unscathed. When you use the toilet, please be brave, either use the little paper thing, or sit down and think about the shower you'll have later. Do not try and levitate or squat -this increases the chance of pee on the floor. Once you're done and you've got you're pants back on, do not look at the handle of the toilet and thinking of the germs residing there decide to use your foot to push the flusher. There are more germs on the floor that you're foot is on and it's simply unkind to leave that for the next person. Use your hand to flush. Use your other hand to open the stall. Wash your hands. Once the hands are clean you can grab a fresh paper towel to turn off the water and open the door, being sure to toss said paper towel to the trash. There is a large percentage of people that don't wash their hands at all when they use the restroom and those same people dip into the bowl of mints by the door in restaurants so do yourself a favor and skip the mint -but no more foot flushing!!! And for the love of Mike, don't teach your kids to do this! Do you know how slippery those floors can be? Crazy germaphobes. Nuff said.

Oh, and happy almost xmas! You know what I was thrilled to learn? Legos are made in Denmark! So far so good with the China boycott this Christmas. I officially rock. Here's another treat to tide you over till the big day.
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2783184

knitta, please

2007-11-29T06:24:00.000-08:00

Eric and I have been following a few theories for a while. Peak oil, which is mainly the idea that the majority of the world's oil supply has already been spent and we are at the beginning of a swift decline in supply. The housing bubble, which has been covered a bit in the news as the subprime mortage problem. The subprime thing is just the tip of the iceberg though as the news coverage doesn't even touch on what's to come as ARM loans reset, millions of people that bought homes beyond their means default, and banks that sold these loans all over the world falter. And the dollar dropping in value as the fed lowers interest rates to try and stave off a crisis. And we've also been watching the general problem of affluenza grow and grow.
Here are some sites to look at.

peak oil
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_oil
the housing bubble
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Housing_bubble and here http://housingpanic.blogspot.com/
and affluenza
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affluenza

If you're not familiar with these ideas it might be a good time to read up on it all. Watching the news lately it's hard not to feel like all these things are coming together to form a kind of perfect storm, financially speaking.

It's hard to know what you can do as an individual to change the flow of things or to even go against the tide. This year, besides going minimalist, we're going to try and do Xmas without buying anything from China. Since it's so hard to find things made in the US we might try and make our gifts this year. I, for one, have taught myself to knit. I'm sure all my friends and loved ones will really appreciate a hand made scarf.Now, I don't know how they're all going to manage to share it over the long distances, but that's not my problem. It's the thought that counts and my thoughts are worth more than the American dollar right now.

Despite the gloom and doom of what I see on the financial horizon, I'm actually in a pretty festive spirit. This song and the 5 cd box set I got from Sufjan has a lot to do with it. It's like a candy cane for my ears, but way less painful than that actually sounds.

Proof

2007-11-07T07:25:00.001-08:00

While we were down in Macon hanging out at big Dave's house a firetruck pulled up outside. It seems that the firefighters knew the homeowner across the street and stopped by to see how his repairs were coming along. I brought Felix outside to see it. Audrey tried to bring him farther down the drive to see better but he just shook his head and went back into the garage. She walked away muttering that she'd never seen a kid less interested in firetrucks. Meanwhile Felix had gotten the box of chalk from the garage and commenced to plop down on the drive and to draw the firetruck.

You have to understand that I have been a pretty good sport about the fact that my kids look nothing like me. I can't begrudge Eric's strong genes, but this spontaneous fit of art from my boy felt like a clap of thunder and it was all I could do not to jump around hollering "You see that? He is mine!"

Afterwards the truck had driven away Felix wanted my help finishing the picture and I told him that I thought it was great and didn't need a thing. He answered that he hadn't had time to draw the circle with the bird inside it or the line along the side -things that I hadn't even noticed. He was describing the town seal. I can't describe how excited I am to realize how visually oriented he is.

Oh, and he's also learning to read -which I have to say is one of my favorite parts of parenting, watching and helping while a whole new world opens up to them. Happy happy.

Back above the kudzu line

2007-11-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

After a quickly planned trip down to Macon GA to visit Eric's dad and Aunt Audrey we're back. It had seemed like it was the only available break in Eric's schedule before launch that he would be able to see his dad. So of course, while we were down there he got the call that his launch has been delayed and is now set for February. As happy as I am to know that we'll have Eric here for the holidays I really wish this schedule would stay put for a bit as it's a little hard to plan a life around.

We got back the evening before Halloween. So most of the following day was spent pulling together the bits and pieces for Emer's costume. She had wanted to be Padme from Star Wars, but that's a bit tricky. Instead she was Ginny, from Harry Potter. For anyone that knows her this makes perfect sense, since she loves Harry. She especially loved the fun of being a red head temporarily. Since we got home late from trick or treating and there was not time for baths, she was able to go to school today with some of the red still in her hair. To pretend she is still Ginny she wore fairly mismatched clothes today in her impersonation of a wizard ackwardly trying to fit in with muggle clothing. With her bright pink sweatpants, striped blue shirt and orange hoodie and the still red hair, she was a sight.

Tully was a monster bear. To the casual observer she may just look like your average bear, but as with all things Tully, don't let the sweet appearance fool you.

Felix was an alien skeleton. Alien, because he knows that human bones don't glow in the dark. If they did graveyards would be brighter more cheerful places.

Speaking of the holiday. One of Emer's friend's at school told her that you shouldn't eat candy on Halloween because it's the Devil's birthday. I briefly explained how different folks believe different stuff and it's important to respect other people's beliefs. But I love this idea, so many details to ponder. Does the party hat fit with the horns? Does he pop all the balloon decorations as he sweeps through the room? How old is he? Did his mom bake the cake or pick it up on her way home from work at Halburton?

The learning curve

2007-10-11T10:25:00.000-07:00

The learning curve is sharp and treacherous around here. Here's Tully's.

She was sliding down of the couch. Face first in a kind of push up position, in the loving arms of her daddy no less when the last bit of her weight fell wrong on her finger and it dislocated the finger and broke it. Lesson learned? Don't point at the floor you're about to land on, it knows you're coming, and pointing is rude.

My most vivid memory of this whole thing was the twenty second silent scream as she ran over to me. Eric and I were laughing, counting to see when the wind up would be done and the real scream would start when I looked down and saw her finger mangled or crumpled just wrong. 'Get your shoes we're going to the hospital' was all I had to say and we were up and out in three minutes. It's nice to know we can actually get out of the house that fast when we need to, and the kids were great about pulling together as a team and trying to make her feel better along the drive. She had stopped screaming before she was even buckled. I just told her we were going to take her to a doctor who was going to fix it and she just said okay. We had a pretty good idea it was dislocated though and I didn't bother to tell her how that fixing was going to work. We spent most of the drive making jokes about where she was pointing. When we were first checking in at the triage she held her hand up to the nurse and said 'fix it please?' So sweet and pitiful. Keeping a 2 year olds cast clean and dry is really incredibly hard. I learned afterwards that they have waterproof casts now, but that insurance doesn't usually cover it. Next time -if there is a next time for any of them, I'm going to splurge and get that.

Here's my learning curve.

I began, enjoyed and finished my portrait class since I last wrote here and it went really well. I was frustrated at first because the guy has a very tight style and I was sort of chafing against it, but it really helped to solidify some of my views about what I want to create and how I want to do it. I've also identified the areas I need to work on with portraits. It's amazing to understand my process better and know where to take it. There is this weird feeling of being lost, then finding my way, then getting lost again and having to work back to where I was. I need to make my darks darker -trying to maintain the skin tone that I know is there has compromised that. I need to block in the shadows and shapes better, I need to start with a stronger sketch, but I also want to work to create a looser feel to my work, leaving more of what is there just suggested. All and all it was time well spent. The teacher also told me that my work was a little like Lucian Freud, so I looked him up and learned a fair bit from his style. Of these three paintings, my favorite is the third smaller one of just the eyes. I had worked the portrait of the blond as much as I could and with 45 minutes left in the class I whipped out this little canvas I had in my box and set in to do a study of the eyes. Working fast forces me to take chances before I have time to doubt myself and the results are always a surprise.

I'm in the process of revamping the whole shop and that should be up in a few days. I'm moving away from prints and I'm going to just sell the originals. Etsy is really swamped with prints lately and though I think it's a great medium for some of the graphic work and illustration artists that I admire, it just doesn't translate oil paint well. I might goof around with some computer painting programs and make prints of those, and I'll still offer prints for people that can't commit to a painting. I think I've been clinging too much to past success holding on to all these old paintings and I know that I've got better stuff ahead of me so it's time to clean house. Besides, with a print the buyer still has to buy a frame or mat and with these paintings most of them will be ready to hang without a frame. I'll put my manifesto about the evils of framing in a future post. Meanwhile enjoy the falling fall.

Happy September!

2007-09-07T16:49:00.001-07:00

Emer's first day of second grade was on Tuesday, and wonder of wonders her teacher is a Harry Potter fan, so I know she's in the right place. The teacher has even grouped the kids according to the houses in Hogwarts and they earn or lose points for their groups. Just from the first day Emer was so much more pleasant to be around, I realize how hungry she is to learn and how much better she feels when she is. Of course it doesn't hurt that she gets all the hustle and bustle of socializing all day either. This is what she looked like on her first day. So happy!
Felix had an orientation on Wednsday and today was his first day where I dropped him off. I chose to switch his preschool since this one is closer to home and he'll have more opportunities to really get to know the kids he'll be going to kindergarten with. It seems like you're average preschool program, but this is also the one that wasn't a good fit for Emer. This is what Felix looked like before his big day.When I picked him up he said he had zero fun and zero learning. I think he was upset because the teachers won't let him play on all the play equipment in the playground or visit his favorite hide outs in that park. Also I think a lot of the day was spent on learning the rules of the classroom. I'm hoping it will get better for him and I encouraged him to be patient. I wish we could swing a Montessori like the one Emer went to in CA, but all of the ones around here seem to be low on philosophy and high on price. It's good practice for public school I guess.

Tully seemed to really enjoy her first day of the year with both brother and sister in school. She looked like this.Of course this is before she fell and hit the bridge of her nose on a metal step. I watched the bruise and swelling bloom while she cried. If the same had happened to me, I'd still be crying but good thing for her, she's made of tougher stuff than me.

After they were all home we went to Red Rock with the dogs. It was a nice outing but by the end of the hike the were all really tired and crabby. Echo was really thrilled to fetch sticks in the water. Bunny was really confused struggling to swim and bite the water simultaneously.

I'm looking forward to getting into a schedule and getting some childcare help so I can do better by these munchkins. I've started a portrait class on Tuesdays and the meeting to start the art collective is in October so I'll have a chance to be busy doing some things for myself now.

Looking forward

2007-08-14T17:32:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged! My assignment is to share 6 weird things about myself. Then I have to tag 6 others, they have to do the same, and it goes from there.

1. I have an English degree and I'm not a good waitress. (even funnier, I went to college to get out of the food industry! Yeah, I'm laughing all the way to the loan repayment office.)

2. Little corn, like the kind you get in Chinese food, creeps me out. I don't think I'm scared of it, but there is something really strange about it, I mean where is the little cob? To this day I've never eaten one. Don't plan on it.

3. I met my current husband in a chicken coop that was refitted to be a band's rehearsal space. I was auditioning as the singer.

4. I have naturally curly hair. I think the devil sneaks in each night while I'm sleeping and tightens the springs.

5. My three children were born in three different states. I was aiming for all 50, but I got tired.

6. All the dirty jokes I ever learned worth telling, I learned from my mother. And I'm still telling them.

Now half of the reason this took me so long (I was tagged just ages ago) is that I really went surfing for other sites I like. Some of these gals just seem really personable and the blog feels like a friendly visit, others are just starting to blog and deserve some traffic, some make unusual stuff, all worth seeing. So in no particular order here they are.
http://goodgirlsstudio.blogspot.com/
http://www.curlymonkeyandco2.blogspot.com/
http://eyepopart.blogspot.com/
http://www.beingcrafty.net/
http://vinylmonster.blogspot.com/
http://knitsteel.blogspot.com/

Now if you're really looking to kill some time you can check out each of their sites, see their 6 weird things and who they tag until you get dizzy.

Okay, so I can't say how much I'm looking forward to not being overwhelmed. September is coming, it's just around the corner. They can't go and move it on me can they? Where would they hide it with their little jam hands that I couldn't find it? September is coming.

Would you believe the gallery owner was actually really nice and receptive to my comments and she's going to give me the means to get in touch with all the people that participated in the show, so this art group may really take off, we'll see. Deb Morbeto whipped up some invites to the information meeting we're having where I can lay out the whole idea to people and they can sign up if they're game. Deb used to be a graphic designer, she's got a great palette, stong composition and her paintings have this incredible texture to them. Check out her work here http://www.thedebweb.com/. I'm also going to put an ad in the paper, so we'll see how much of a turn out we get. I'll keep you posted. Also, the piece that got into the show, sold. Yeah me. Boo my modest pricing. Ah well, it all spends the same.

And in other, other news. My neighbors moved! It's so strange to have the big house empty. I hadn't realized how much I'd come to depend on the kids almost always having playmates at the ready. I guess you never realize what you've got until you don't. Hoping a new family moves in there with nice kids. We'll see. The good news is that the neighbors didn't move far so we can all visit each other often. It's funny to think how much they feel like family now.

A summer full of busy

2007-08-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

So much to catch up on! Eric worked straight through for almost three weeks, so I didn't get any breaks, then I went to New Hampshire for a wee bit all by myself to visit some old friends. Like this painting that I gave to Kristi as a wedding present.

Kristi was looking pretty good too, but not feeling up to photos on the web. And I was lucky enough to see not just my friend Sandy but also her son Gregg and his girlfriend Amy and the whole family! It was a really great trip and a nice breath of fresh air to be an adult without small people hanging on me. To see Sandy with her grown children and how well they're all doing is a nice reminder of what I'm headed towards as well. Though I guess it's too much to hope for that once kids are grown they'll have grown out of all their bad habits.

While I was there I learned about something called Non-Violent Communication created by Marshall Rosenberg. It's hard to describe but worth checking out if you want to get along better with people, resolve conflicts, teach children ect. There are books, CDs, ect. and they have this website http://www.cnvc.org/

Once I got back Eric went down to visit his dad in GA for 6 days and now we're here. While Eric was gone I submitted some artwork into the annual juried show they do at a local gallery here. The theme is the same every year, Something Hot. It's a tad ambiguous. It's interesting to see what people come up with to fit in the theme and the different styles people present. The judging system is pretty arbitrary and dependent on the one judge's taste. After the judging they provide an open critique at the gallery. In the past I really enjoyed the critique process because I learned a lot and was able to see all that was submitted but this year the woman judging was really horrible, negative and condescending. I don't know if there is anything she would like if she didn't make it (she made quite a point to flaunt her credentials). Listening to this woman took all the thrill out of being accepted into the show. I even toyed with the idea of taking my piece out, but instead chose to write a letter to the gallery director. I described how it all went from the perspective of a participant and offered to let her give me her mailing list so I can form a support group for emerging/learning artists to have our own group critiques. Nothing ventured - nothing gained.

Anyway, here is the piece that got into the show. It'll be up for a month at Gallery 222 in Leesburg Va.

Meanwhile, I have to get some new stuff up into the shop, and thanks to all of you for being patient. Now that I've got a camera again I'm hoping to get back into the pace of a new piece every one or two weeks. I'm also planning on posting more originals and different options for prints so stay tuned. I'm also finally getting to work on the portraits I've been commissioned to do and the process is really exciting, but sometimes a little intimidating. I'm lucky that the woman I'm doing them for is really good at collaborating with me about what she wants and what I can do. Hoping you're all having a happy full of fun times summer, in the mean time try and stay cool.

Photo Contest top three

2007-07-01T18:07:00.000-07:00

And the winner of the photo contest is......
Artsy with her photo of her cat, Puckett! Gee, I'm assuming it's her cat, maybe it's a loaner. I chose this photo because I like the odd perspective and the colors around the cat and it should be fun to work up into a painting and make into something that is uniquely my own. If you're not familiar with Artsy, she has a shop on Etsy at Artsy.etsy.com full of these amazing assemblages and jewelry she makes. Almost as eye popping as the items for sale in her shop are the images of them, and I've learned to comfort myself and my substandard camera by believing that she simply has a camera with super powers, maybe even a small cape.
The second place goes to Hurdler4eva with this view of waterfront living. I really love this image, but I don't know if I could make something unique from it, it's pretty unique on it's own. What I mean is, because this is unusual, I'll be worried about viewers being able to read it visually so I'll fall into the trap of trying to paint it very realistically and then you'll have a painting that is not too different, if not inferior to the photo.
The third place goes to akhitt, or Amanda with this shot of Wilbur. Now here, I really love the subject matter, and I can tell this fellow has personality but this composition would be hard to work with. I thought about enlarging just one section of the image but I think that would be bending the rules a bit. With the submission Amanda told me that this guy is at a sanctuary where she works, and I'm really intrigued by that, trying to imagine if it is a pig sanctuary or a monastery with some very muddy patches.I'd like to thank everyone again for all their submissions, it's been really fun to get these images and see a bit through other people's eyes. I'd like to do this contest again, but I need to think of how to advertise it a little better to get the word out and to get more entries. Feel free to comment here with ideas or convo to me on the Etsy site about that. Advertising problems aside I think I can do it again in a month or two, so I hope those of you that didn't make the cut will submit again, tell your friends ect. As it is I have a lot of new projects I'm working on.

Right now I'm working on a series of monster portraits where I'm painting on the glass of old photo frames. And I still have the denim series that's coming along pretty well, though it's frustrating that our camera is temporarily missing and I'm unable to post them in the shop yet.

Funny story about that. I use the camera all the time to take shots that I might work into paintings. Eric recently graduated from his volunteer firefighting program and took the camera with him down to the firehouse, which is where he lost/misplaced the camera. There must be nearly a hundred pics on that thing, you know the usual stuff of the kids, animals from the farm, and some of what seemed like a neat idea at the time of myself in the shower. You see I'm really interested in finding odd perspectives and I was thinking a shot of a woman shaving her armpits from the perspective of the shaver would be really interesting, you know, the sharp lines of the razor and the blurring lines of the figure going down to the feet with the curve of the tub in the distance. I'm not thinking it's so clever now. As it was, the images were so disturbing to see I deleted most of them right off. I mean I've had three kids and I just look better with clothes on. But a few of them were probably still on the camera when Eric lost it. Yeah. Funny story. See you on the internet!

Beautiful Inside

2007-06-25T18:15:00.001-07:00

How does she know?

I mean, really. What confidence. You have to admire it really. Maybe she's on very good terms with her internist? I've had three kids and there is a certain point in the midst of pregnancies that you lose your ability to become embarrassed about yourself. I will admit, I once had midwife tell me that I had a happy cervix. I think I blushed, maybe I laughed. I didn't post a sign with my photo. (Though I did remember the comment and post about it here, so maybe I shouldn't throw stones) Or is she simply stating that besides her many virtues as a real estate professional, knowledgeable in her field, she's also a great person with a heart of gold? Oh, right. The house. The sign is about the house. Well that's just plain creepy. Who wants a house that talks?

Moving on. Felix, my stunning brilliant little boy has stopped sucking his thumb! He had a small cut on his thumb this past Friday and it hurt too much for him to suck it. So I was lying there with him around his bedtime and out of the blue he said, "Well, that's it. I 'm guess I'm going to stop sucking my thumb now." And then he did. He made it the whole weekend and there's been no back sliding even though the little cut is healed. I'm just so impressed. I've talked to him lots of times before this about all the reasons he would have to stop, but he never seemed to take it in, always saying that when he was older he would. I guess now he's older. I feel like I should throw him a Bar Mitsvah, if only we were Jewish.

I'm working on some new materials for the shop that I'm hoping to post this coming week. I've taken denim and wrapped it over canvas stretching bars and I'm making some art on that. I like the idea of material as a background but it also helps to force me to keep it simple. I think the added bonus is that they'll be originals to sell rather than just prints. And soon I'll have to choose the winner in the photo contest. It's going to be hard to choose there have been some great entries.

So far summer vacation has been relatively painless as the kids are all getting along pretty well and Tully is so much more interactive. Today we went on a small hike to the Balls Bluff regional park (the scene of an important civil war battle) and we saw this turtle.

The Contest

2007-06-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

So this is the latest announcement I placed in the shop

Win a Free Print!
I'm looking for inspiration, so how about you let me borrow yours? Send me a photo for a painting and if your photo is chosen you'll win a free print of the painting created from it. I'll also post the top three choices on my blog. If I get enough entries and responses we could have a new winner each month. So get out your camera and show me what you have.

Unusual perspective and views are especially appreciated as well as urban or city images. All photos should be in standard bmp, jpg, or gif format, and taken by you. Convo/email/comment to me with the subject heading, photo entry. Good Luck and happy snapping!

The idea is that it would be so nice to get a glimpse of life through someone else's eyes and illustrate that vision in my style. I don't get out enough, and honestly how many cows could I possibly paint? I'm a little worried about people giving me pictures that they just find on the internet or wherever but I'm deciding to rely on the general trust worthiness of Etsy folk. Also I have to make clear to the winner that I'll be using the image to make a painting and then sell prints of that painting. My thanks for the picture is the free print, not a cut of my meager profit. I guess I'll clarify to the winner at the end of the month that they'll retain the rights to their picture and I'll retain the rights to my painting of it. I thought this would be a nice way to collaborate with the world at large so to speak, we'll see.

Eric took the camera to work today. Can you see my frown from here? There are some new cows in the field and I swear they were posing, practically daring me to photograph them and I couldn't. I know, you thought I was sick of cows, but there is a black one and I'd love to catch how the light falls on that shiny fur. And there is one with a white face, and that can be so expressive. Looking through photos to post I found this one. You can tell by the trees that it was a few months ago, but the spirit of spring is obvious. I've named this sheep Randy.

Love is awkward

Get a load of that mug

2007-06-02T11:33:00.001-07:00

Can you see the fire in those eyes? This ones full of spit and vinegar but oh how I love her. Not much for news right now, other than the computer miraculously fixing itself. Also we got the good news that our rent won't be increasing this year which is a nice relief since we like it here so much.

Life on a 286 acre farm with a creek and animals is not bad as raising kids territory. And I would have hated to move when the strawberries are coming in so well in our little garden. So I'm off to pick some. Here is another pic of Emer and Tully heading off into the lower field. They've recently cut and baled the hay in this field so I think there might be a painting coming on with those images.

The post of no pictures past

2007-06-01T10:40:00.001-07:00

The computer in the office that I use to upload pictures from my camera to the internet is temporarily down so this will be the post of no pictures. I'm telling you now, don't even scroll down, no eye candy awaits you. I know, I share your disappointment, there's something great about seeing stuff up there on the little screen with the little audience. The funny thing is, the computer in the office was fixed last night when I asked Eric to plug in or fix whatever it is that broke and he did. But then with the voice of Al Gore ringing in my ears I turned the computer off to save energy and went up to bed. This morning I turn it on and NO. For me, the computer is incredibly testy and difficult, for him it's like a well trained dog. oh well. I'm sure I have some skills up my sleeves that my genius engineer doesn't. That's a fine premise and we're just going to play along with it because barring the fact that I'm in short sleeves there is nothing wrong here. move on.
Two things.
1. The birds that have their nest on the eve of our back porch are beginning to get big and less ugly. While I type this I can see the mom and dad zipping back and forth delivering food and the babies are spreading their wings a bit sitting up a bit more. Not nestled in so much anymore but perched on the nest. I thought I saw the mom earlier pushing the little ones and flapping her wings as if to say "Here's how these things work. If you don't like what I made for you, use them." I would include pictures but refer to paragraph one.
2. I went to the community pool with a friend and all three kids. I got a little floaty life vest for Tully and one for Felix and a little floating board for Emer and I was a whirling dirvish the whole time trying to keep an eye on them all regardless. The life vest for Tully was the best money I ever spent though as she as no fear and likes to go to the deep water and yells at me when I try to hold her. I think when the lifeguards wear red shorts regular civilian men should be prevented from wearing the same. Otherwise I'm giving the guy with the beer belly and mustache my undivided attention because he raised his voice, and immediately my eyes begin scanning the pool for some disaster only to find his kid splashed someone. Also lifeguard whistles. There ought to be some kind of a code because sometimes they blow it to say get out of the pool and sometimes it means don't run, or hey quit splashing.
Okay, without pictures I just can't go on. I'll try and take some pics of the birds though and save them for a time when the other computer is working. Tweet

What we did with the long weekend

2007-05-28T17:45:00.000-07:00

We let the kids sleep out in the tent in the front yard for the first time last night. Boy are they tired now. It was ours, the Moys and the Moores so a full couple of tents with kids all hopped up on smores but I think it was a good experience all around. Especially good was that once they were asleep, we went upstairs to our nice soft bed. Tully also slept inside as she is very practical and too young to stand a chance in an argument. The picture at the top is Emer looking out from the tent.

I hope everyone had a nice Memorial Day weekend. Ours was so good. Eric took Friday off and just recovered from his rough week at work and then we set into some serious relaxing Saturday, Sunday and Monday. So that means lots of grilling for him, and painting for me. He was so great to give me these huge chunks of time painting and I feel like I got a lot done. It seems like the painting of Ribeye is a big hit sales wise and I'm thinking part of it is that not many people get these close up personal views of a cow. So I took advantage of my own cash cow in the back yard and worked up this painting of Lacy. I'm not sure if it is done or if I want to put a wreath of flowers on her head. Might offer a version of it both ways on Etsy. We'll see.

I also reworked this painting I had done for my neighbor Teri. You see originally she had wanted a painting of the tree in her front yard and I had made a trade for some pictures for my portfolio. Well as it turns out all I really need is her light set up in her studio but I've been using it a lot lately and recently I saw this tree painting I had done for her and I just hated it. I'll spare you the before photo but the colors were too simple and the image was just blah. So I took it back and I was just sort of holding on to it until I got an idea of what I could do when the idea for this came to me. You see the thing she liked about the tree in her front yard is that she looks at it everyday as she's doing dishes. So I've made the image of her in the process of viewing the tree. Also she's at a point of transition in her life and that's sort of reflected in the piece as she's standing at the sink about to do the dishes. Also she makes such a fuss about people/clients not coming through her kitchen and seeing her dirty dishes and it's funny to me to have them displayed there for all to see. And capturing that between possibilities sense there is the dead plant to her left (which is not fictional) and the live plant in front of her (also not fictional). I also like how the lighting is coming around so that she is facing the light but she is mostly in shadow. It could be she is taking in the light or it could be she is trapped. So I like the idea. Visually I wanted to leave empty spaces and areas where what was there was vague blocks of color but that's hard for me to do. I do think it's a clear change from the Lacy piece which is techno-color. I don't know if it is done or if I like the unfinished feel to it. The arm closest feels a bit stiff but I'm afraid I might overwork it if I'm not careful. It's a big canvas so I think it will take more to finish then I am used to. Feel free to chime in. Meanwhile have a good week. And don't be afraid to use the comment button right below this post! There's nothing so lonely as a blog with no comments. My blog is beginning to think it has cooties.

2007-05-23T11:24:00.000-07:00

The Laundry Monster is back!
Now really I'm not airing my dirty laundry on the Internet. That would be incredibly tacky and cliche. This is clean laundry, it just needs to be folded and put away. And besides this serves an educational component too. How much laundry could a family of five possible create? Here's your answer.

Please don't let today be the one day my dear sweet grandmother-in-law visits the site. She is the queen of laundry, even owned a laundromat for a time. She even had three children in diapers back before disposables. So to let things get this out of hand would be unthinkable for her. Her whites are white, her items are washed, folded, and put away, thank you very much. Laundry monster indeed.

So you can't have a monster lurking around the house with out a hero showing up before long. My knight in shining detergent. -I know the metaphor is breaking down here since it's clean laundry but bare with me.

Well that was fun. More fun than folding.
I'll have to include a shot later of it all folded nice and neat to redeem myself for this post.

It's been a good couple of days. Felix had a friend over today. Tully is refusing to nap, Emer is reading a lot and fast. You know, the usual.

Also I put some new pieces up in the shop. My favorite being the wild bunny. I'm going to have to do a whole series of bunny paintings since I like the idea so much. Also I think the composition could use a little tweaking. And I'm trying to sort out ideas for the two portraits I've been commissioned to do, trying to think of some interesting angle or idea to focus the pieces on. Fun fun fun. but for now, folding.

While you're looking around on Etsy here are some artists I found just today that I liked. It's really amazing the quality and variety of work on there.
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=64040
This guy is amazing.

And this from DKim is one of my favorites from what she has in her shop:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6031744

And this from Artsy is just too weird to not be cool:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5817072

Proof positive that I don't get out enough

2007-05-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

Octopus hotdogs with macaroni and cheese. When my mom used to make these for me she used mustard to make the eyes and I think they looked better that way. But these kids don't respect my artistic integrity so I sell out and give them the ketchup. What is it about ketchup? I think if there were popsicles made out of it my kids would eat them. And in other news of domestic bliss, I've conquered the laundry monster! Okay, well at least it's all washed and folded and put into laundry baskets waiting to be put away. But I rationalize that the opening and closing of drawers would wake the Tullster so I leave it at this stage for now. I so love watching episodes of the Daily Show and sorting and folding because the funny makes it go so much faster.

I had mentioned before Emer's ready to ride the bike to catch the bus look earlier and here she flaunts her goggle look. And for the Simpson's fans I put in the obligatory quote, "The goggles, they do nothing." Is it just me or does she look a little like an engineer? Speaking of which Eric took her into the clean room early Saturday morning and she really enjoyed.

So this is apparently the picture post where I finally put in all the pictures I've talked about and not done. Felix's haircut and silly face...

And Tully and him together.

I realized again today how happy I am that I quit eating red meat as I looked out the kitchen window to see Lacy scratching her ear with her back hoof just like a dog. About a month ago a baby calf that was born in the back while Eric was grilling and the smoke from his hamburgers was literally blowing over the new baby and I began to think something was horribly wrong with this picture. And then I went and watched Fast Food Nation which was a fictionalized account of the book and it showed views of a killing floor and all I could picture was Lacy and Ribeye. And then I did all these paintings of the cows and from there it seemed inevitable that I would quit the red meat. I'm still on for chicken though. They're dumb and tasty just like I like them.

So I hopped the fence to get some good shots of Lacy for more paintings. Just when I think I can't even think of doing another cow painting I see them in some way I feel I have to capture. It's like chocolate eclairs. I went through a phase with those too, where I would eat some and think I wasn't ever going to have another after that, but then a few weeks would pass and an eclair would cross my path and all of a sudden I'm in the mood again. Cow paintings are like that for me. So I hop, I click, I click, I get into different positions to get some unusual perspectives and foreshortening and then I realize that Lacy and I have a really good relationship and I trust her considerably. As I'm laying on the ground looking up at her realizing she could step on me and do me real harm. So I kept talking as I was shooting to remind her there was a person there and it all worked out fine. This isn't the best shot but the others would require me opening and editing them to make them vertical. So this is what you get.

Speaking of rocking out

2007-05-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

I know I've told just about everyone I know about this but if you have any interest at all in music you have to check out Last FM. I just don't have the money to buy cds of all the music I like and the radio around here is really awful. So I found this website and you can type in an artist you like and they will play you similar, or you can find someone with similar taste to you and listen to their radio or their neighborhood and as you do you can tag songs you love and ones you hate and it slowly builds a playlist for you. A lot of times when I see artwork I like I wonder what the artist was listening to when they made it. The majority of time that I'm on Lastfm I'm listening to a user called frankenfish here http://www.last.fm/listen/user/frankenfish/neighbours
You'd think I work for them but really, music just gives me big happy and I think it's such a great program.

It's Friday I've got no job and I've got stuff to do!

2007-05-18T15:54:00.000-07:00

Yippee! Friday and Eric took of from work since he'd already put in so much time this week. We had a leisurely morning with coffee and then he took Felix and Tully out to a park for a long stretch. It feels almost like a real weekend. It's been so hard to deal with his volunteer training all day on Sundays because it made the weekend so unbearably short. I've jumped back into two paintings that I want to touch up before posting and I have some new ideas coming together about bunnies. -not as stupid as it sounds. That and I broke the shop up into sections and posted some pieces of the kids. I know these probably won't sell but I feel like they give a good impression of my range in case people want to contact me for commissioned work . . which someone did! So exciting to tackle a new challenge. So I'm off to load a fresh palette and rock out!

How fast grass grows

2007-05-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

I put up a new piece for sale in the shop today. I like seeing my work in that context all together on the screen, but it makes me itchy to make more. I've also got some neat ideas about using new materials. I just need a good stretch of time to get things done.
Tully is still rocking out with the pull ups keeping them dry. I've just been asking her when we get somewhere or when we leave a place if she needs to go and she'll say yes and lo and behold she goes. I'm so boring talking about potty training in a blog. While I'm at it maybe I should describe the grass growing. -Fast. The grass is growing fast.
Felix and I had fun yesterday playing the poem game where he gives me a word, and I make up a poem about it and I give him a word and he makes up a poem about it. He likes to give two versions of all his poems, the short version and the long version. Usually for the long version comes out more like a song.
Emer has done a better job listening this past week so as a reward I gave her a new jump rope. She took it to school today so she could use it at recess. She a little bit better at saying the little rhymes than the actual jumping, but practicing more will help. Also she's doing a really good job getting ready to go to school in the morning and she's riding her bike down to the bus stop. I need to get a picture of her wearing her goggles to protect her eyes from the wind when she leaves in the morning. Too funny.
Eric is working really hard on the satellite lately, putting in a lot of hours. I feel like I don't see him much anymore, or when I do, he's still on the phone keeping track of what's being done.

2007-05-13T17:09:00.000-07:00

So I'm really excited that I finally got everything together to get on Etsy. The main thing that had been a stumbling block for me was getting good pictures of the paintings and Teri was a big help in letting me use her lights. Also I found the chrome setting on the dig camera and the museum setting help a lot for photographing artwork. Etsy is a huge community though and there are so many great things there. . We'll see.

I'm happy anyway that I set a goal for myself and reached it. It feels so good to get something done besides changing diapers. Speaking of which, Tully is potty training herself. She has a strong independent streak and she's taking off diapers to use it and everything. Yesterday I painted over the last painting I had done of her. The last looked too tight, like I was trying too hard and the skin tone had this dead zombie look to it. This painting, I worked from a new picture, one I've been thinking of for a while with her sort of looking up all foreshortened. The fun challenge part though, and the reason I think it was so much more successful, is that I painted the majority of it upside down. It still has flaws, but overall I like it better. In the actual photo she's holding a camera bag, but that didn't read well visually, so with the idea of people reaching into their purses to buy my prints I made it a purse.

We got lots of things done today. Eric took Tully to the plant nursery while I took Felix for a haircut. He looks so much better without such a mop. I almost think it's worth it to let your hair grow out into something huge and monsterous so that when you get it trimmed, the transformation is more amazing. While I was picking up Emer from a friend's house Eric and the kids planted the herb garden. We are arguing about tomatoes again though.

Is this normal? Tomato fights? I think even two plants is a lot to keep up with and if you're not careful you end up -up to your ears in rotten tomatoes. Eric is concerned that some might die and we'll need back up. Also he thinks it will be more manageable if we simply prune better. I'm not asking for a tie breaker vote here but you'll know I lost the battle if I start selling salsa online.

I am officially the worst blogger ever

2006-11-21T14:04:00.000-08:00

Ohmygod it's almost Thanksgiving and I haven't posted anything?!! What am I crazy? Why did I even start a blog you're asking.

And with a deep sigh I begin my long winded speech about how I keep imagining I'll have more time than I do and more energy -but I get bored even saying it all so I'll just stop there.

For now lets get the kid thing out of the way. Here is Tully. The picture would be in focus if
she ever stopped moving she's constantly on the go now.

And here is Felix. I have to take some new pictures of his haircut. But I'll put the empty promise out there that I'll take new pictures tommorow but it sounds cheap and hollow doesn't it? We'll see what I can manage. This is the blog of low expectations.

And here is Eihmear. Missing her two fron teeth up at the farm. Well she's always missing her front teeth now but the picture is up at the farm.

So my one big goal for the weekend is to buy a big piece of black velvet and take shots of the paintings because I'm playing with the idea of printing photos of them and trying to sell as prints. Eric was nice enough to buy a new printer scanner for my birthday, so anything is possible. Barring plague or famine. Speaking of which I think there's a dinner I'm supposed to be cooking right now so stay tuned for a month or so. No really I'll be back in a day or two. Okay three. I'll also try and figure how to put pictures in better. Bare with me. or Bear with me. Whichever you prefer.

2006-10-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

Eric took all three kids to the first service at church this morning! So I'm actually drinking coffee and looking at the computer without having to pry jam hands off the keyboard. So, okay first post. This is going to be where you can see what I'm doing first hand with shots of paintings, and clips from my writings. The hard part is going to be getting good shots of the paintings but we'll muddle through. For now though I have to get up and get ready for church myself because I'm co teaching the RE at second service and I should get there early to go over the curriculum. We're actually using resources from www.teaching tolerance.org which you should check out if you're at all interested it's through the southern poverty law center and they do some great work.
By tommorow I'll have pictures up. peace, Alice