We've begun the countdown to when we'll close on the new house. It's a weirdly exciting process to finally own a house and to plan this whole moving/settling in process. One of the best parts is that I'll have a garage as a studio. It has enough electricity to run the kiln and to do the batik work I've been making and start experimenting with encaustic painting which is a really nice blending of both the batik work and oil painting. I might even be able to give some painting classes in the studio.

I'm still plugging away at the writing process. I've been taking a writing course online and I'm pleased with both how demanding it has been and the quality of work from the other students. What I need to do is start submitting the pieces I've written.

In a weird twist of fate we finally have some neighbors in the big house and I really like them. It's so nice to see people outside and just go and hang out. It's been especially nice for Tully to have a little friend her own age to play with. It's going to be difficult to move away from them.

I'm gearing up for the Lucketts Fair in August making a variety of paintings at different price ranges to try and sell. If it goes well I might try and do the Waterford Fair as well. Word on the street is that it's a more art oriented program and the people with heavy wallets are more prone to show up and spend. We'll see.

Sort of a boring post but them's the facts Jack. I'll try and post photos of all the new work I've been making soon.

Diving in.

So I'm surprised that after feeling locked out of the housing market for so long that being a prospective home buyer is not really all that exciting to me. That said, we seem to have found a house or it has found us. All the arguments against buying have dawdled off and left me standing on the precipice of this really huge decision. I'm oddly detached. I tell a few friends and they congratulate us. -Really? We're taking on a huge fiscal responsibility that could be like an albatross around our necks weighing us down and limiting our options in a shifting sea of uncertainties. Yay?
Usually I'm pretty in tune with myself. I've got a pretty good handle on what I'm feeling and why most of the time. Maybe it's just that this is uncharted territory for us, a great unknown. Maybe it's because we've studied the housing bubble for so long that we can't be swayed with the allure of home decorating. I don't know. -And that's so odd to me since usually I'm such an insufferable know-it-all.
Some comfort as we head into this is that as much as we've settled into our lives here at the farm, the park authority that runs it has a 15 yr plan for the property that doesn't include us. I think I would feel better leaving here if something would break or someone would make me mad. It seems so counter intuitive to leave when things are good. Hmm. Much to ponder.


And on the subject of pondering I've realized that too often with this blog I play it safe. I recently stumbled into a blog - Pacing in the Panic Room and I left mesmerized by how the author, Ryan had entered into this thing, this process so fully. In his writing he revealed himself with a capital R, allowing himself to be vunerable and sentimental and just so achingly human that I felt privileged to witness his journey. Also for a long time I've followed Sharon in her blog Weapons of Mass Distraction, so much so that I feel like I could count her as a friend. She's clued me in to so many cool sites and music and art that I owe her a great debt, yet we've never met. And Holy Cow what that girl can do with a camera can curl your toes. This whole blogging thing is an amazing use of technology and with it we make these fumbling gestures at creating community, and sometimes folks succeed in doing just that.
So I found myself thinking about it. Why don't I do that? No. Really.
You see I know there aren't that many people that read this. What am I doing it for if I'm not going to take any risks? And in the thinking I discovered what I'd forgotten.
Long long time ago I was 18 and left home. My father and I parted on bad terms, my mother, showing signs of dementia, was with him. I was over stuffed with melodramatic crap from books and movies, so full of my sense of right and wrong that I wouldn't speak to my dad. I had all sorts of trials and tribulations but every Thursday while my dad was at work I would call my mom and let her know that I was okay. I prided myself on my ability to turn everything into a good story, to get a laugh out of her, to make sure she didn't worry. I remember calling from a payphone when I was living in a motel with all sorts of troubles weighing down on me, but she laughed and I felt like I'd done my job for the week.

So this blog has been like those phone calls for me. I keep it light, I try and hit the funny points here and there but I never dig too deep or reveal myself too much. I wouldn't want anyone to worry. But I think I'm going to try and change that -either that or just be much funnier.
And in the spirit of jumping off into new things. Here is the latest painting I've started. It's still in the very early stages but it's ginormous and it'll be a journey getting it where I want it. Also very excited to be getting a big jug of Dorland's wax medium to paint with. I've never used it before but I've seen how it can be used and have great hopes. Thanks to a gift cert it was free!

If Dr. Suess ran a hatchery

Usually I'm not a big fan of dyeing eggs for Easter. My family wasn't big on the tradition; or if we did, we were lackadaisical about actually having an Easter egg hunt. Little did I know how much fun it could be if you know the right people.
The kids and I and Eric made these beauties at Mary's house with hot wax and batik methods. Almost too pretty to eat, but we'd better eat them soon. Egg salad anyone?

It seems fitting to be looking at pictures of eggs though because aside from Easter it seems that we're waiting for all sorts of things to hatch.
(Tapping my toe and pointedly looking at you Kristi. But no pressure, really. tap tap tap. anytime now. tap tap)
We're waiting to see if the renewed dream of buying a house will hatch into something real and watching all the greenery explode around us. Things are good, and more good things will come.

Straws and camels

There comes a point when enough is just enough.

Damn you wood paneling, damn you to hell. (read threatening scowl, shaking fist here).

So tired of facing these dark brown walls for yet another day I fought back and I might have actually won. I used every trick I've ever heard of, big white ceiling to floor curtains (more to cover the wall than the window), mirrors everywhere, more white accessories than you can shake a stick at. As if that wasn't enough, I peeled off the two layers of grimy old wallpaper behind the sink in the kitchen and painting the small bit of non-wood white. I don't have before and after photos because it was such a dark cave before even the camera said, "No thanks I'd rather not." But here are a few of the improvements. And because they're my kind of improvements they were all on the cheap.


The result? Entirely more tolerable. It's not the Taj Mahal but at least I'm not internally cringing every time my eyes bump against the structural necessities of my confinement.

Now that the interior is more better I can focus on more important things. Like what you ask? New items in the shop! I'm taking spring cleaning to a new level and offering new listings of all styles and sizes, older work, newer stuff and more to come. Keep posted. My continuing frustration is with the quality of my photos of the paintings. Every version I can get of clear lighting also reflects a bit off the oil giving a slightly washed out look that doesn't really show the vibrancy of the colors. Ah, well I'll keep at it regardless.

In the writing realm I'm been having a lot more success with a program called scrivener that allows you to divide chapters into scenes and shuffle and rearrange. I've revised up to chapter 5 and I'm hopeful that I'm getting somewhere. I've also been so very lucky to find another writer to share work with. It's time to sign up for some online classes though and get the show on the road.

In the more mundane realm of family. Eihmear had a birthday, which once a year is about what you'd expect. I think 9 will be good for her, I'm hopeful. She recently finished The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe series, she came in 4th in a chess tournament and she has been inventing things. I think it's safe to say that she's developing into a very well rounded geek.

Felix has been overly tired, maybe from growing? Maybe from staying up late reading comics? Who knows, luckily he's still very sweet most of the time and tells me he loves me about a million times a day. He's been really enjoying piano and showing a bit of a knack for it. And did I mention he won an art competition? The whole school participated in the contest to design the cover for the year book. (Don't get me started on how crazy I think it is for an elementary to have a yearbook.) Felix won for both his grade and the whole school. So his picture will be on the cover. Unfortunately I don't have any shots of it and I'll have to buy the yearbook. Neat idea though, the school mascot is a lion. So he drew a lion, did the whole picture in watercolors and then ripped up pieces of paper with his friend's and teacher's names on them and filled in the picture like a collage. That's my little man in the middle.

Tully is fierce mild as of late. When she's upset or angry she goes up to the tree house and picks her nose. This has been the year of the stink bug and many of them have become her pets. I think this is fine until she tries to put them on leashes and take them for walks. I heard her one day outside yelling "Hi!" She was so loud and friendly I looked in the drive to see who was here but there was no one. I walked around the house to find her and she was in the backyard saying hi to the horses. They bend their heads down over our fence to get at the grass (you know, greener of course) and she hugs their noses. They're very tolerant. They might even like it. I've decided though for the most part that horses are just very big rabbits with smaller ears. Grass, grass, grass, nibble nibble. ect.

objects in the mirror are stranger than they appear

Okay. So the thing that's really disorienting about Facebook is all these people popping up out of the woodwork from my hometown, my high school, grammar school ect. There was a 30 rock episode that pretty much sums up my experience with this but I couldn't find a clip to link to here. The basic gist was that Tina Fey's character thought she was a geek, a loser that everyone picked on. The truth was that she was so defensive she was verbally attacking people, making jokes at their expense all through school and they all thought she was a bully. I don't know where in the spectrum I fall but it sure felt familiar as I watched it. I feel like I owe everyone from my hometown an apology. I wasn't very nice, or very aware of anything other than how miserable I was. So very glad not to be there any more.

I'm done with my short obsession with moving or buying a house. It's a kind of crazy that can take you over imagining possible futures in different places. My only hang up with staying here on the farm is that the park authority won't let me paint the wood paneling and the sight of it makes me ill. I'm reviewing various schemes for covering it up. None of which Eric will approve.

We got Emer a spacing retainer to help spread her jaw to fit all those big teeth. And I'm comforting myself with what an expensively beautiful smile she'll have someday. It's difficult for her to talk with it in, it's uncomfortable and difficult to get used to ,but she's being an incredibly good sport about it all.

I signed up to sell my artwork at the local fair this summer. I'm sharing the space with my Tuesday Night Art Group so it's bound to be fun even if it isn't profitable.

I refuse to post another false promise to post pictures later. Look, me and the camera are having an argument. I don't want to get into it.

Enough all ready. meh.

I finished the first rough draft of what we will loosely refer to here as, -the novel. Now my plan is to let it stew for a few weeks, get some distance from it and then when I return to it, turn it into something I would actually want to read. As a late xmas gift to myself, or just to celebrate, I got myself a new bracelet. I'll include pictures later once I find the camera. Coolest piece of jewelry EVER. Made from old typewriter keys. Put it on my writing hand, of course.

I'm interested in the way my brain shifts focus after being so intent for what felt like so long. I haven't jumped into a new story but I have jotted down twenty or more ideas to turn into stories, for different age groups. Though it seems like a lame file to have in my documents I actually put them all into an 'idea box' so I have something to draw from when the well runs dry.

Then I started painting again. I started reworking the huge abstract, and then ideas and color combinations started flooding my brain. I'll be lucky if I can get them all onto a canvas in the time I have, but I'll try. Even though big canvases are my big happy right now I'm going to try and knock off some smaller pieces to post on the etsy site. I might even create some small booklets of my stories to offer for sale.

As for random thoughts on another subject entirely. A huge flock of canadian geese came honking by this morning and it was such a drizzly cold rainy day I felt sorry for them for a second, living out in the elements. And then it dawned on me that they love the water, and they love to fly, so flying in the rain would be the best of both worlds for them. Lucky ducks, or erm geese. They still look like flying bowling pins to me though.

60,633 words

That's 106 pages. 302 pages when it's double spaced. But the end is in sight, I'm nearly there and when I get there I'm going to have to go through it all with a big red pen. Yay me? I guess it's a little soon for Yay.