Saturday, May 07, 2011

Caught up in the struggle

first night, foundation work
I had it.  Or I was on the edge of it.  I was carving out the image, making bold choices, building something where one choice would dovetail into the next and it was all coming together.  Then I stopped for the night and totally lost my momentum.  The next night I was fighting with myself second guessing and trying to get back to where I'd been headed.  Ah well.  The mojo, she has left me.  I'll keep working on it, slower now trying to find that sweet spot. 

second night, argh
In the meantime, great opportunity to switch focus and tackle the writing with a little more determination.  Funny enough I met with a good friend the other day and she asked me what my ultimate goal was.  And though I have a lot of things I want to be able to do, getting this dang book published is at the core of it all. 

So why the heck am I out in the garage whacking away at these canvases if being an author is a serious goal?  Good question. 

I mean, painting is certainly more immediate.  It's the same problem solving but all in one place and it has a definite end, whereas the writing is more murky.  But maybe it's that cliche stuff like being afraid of finishing the book and failing at having it published.  Eh.  Who knows.  I just need to be more disciplined in doing each thing every, or every other day.  These painting binges can be exhausting and the writing really suffers from the stop and go.  So, steady.  That's my new mantra.  Each day, making progress with each.  This is quite the internally directed babble, but there you have it. 

Lat cow painting
When the mojo goes away I get all introspective.  But enough of that I have a book to write.  Scene 1 Chapter 4 and Go.

1 comment:

  1. Ha!, Alice... love your sense of humor! Your dillema is so familiar to me... torn between various creative endeavors! Hang in there, girl! Life is long (if we are lucky), and there IS time... (or at least this is what I tell myself). My profs at school would say... "the most important thing is to just keep working". I enjoyed visiting your blog! The work looks good!